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ItsReganingRain
1 7,649 M Moving Along 7
PathStep 162 Compassion hearts436 Forum posts329 Forum upvotes417 Current upvotes417 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2024 Member sinceApril 25, 2019
Bio

Hi there, I'm Rain. I live in England and I use he/they pronouns. For fun I like to watch YouTube, imagine and sometimes write down stories, draw stuff, crochet, and play my violin. I like Star Wars a lot, and I'm currently really into watching Super Mario Odyssey videos (I am fixated on SmallAnt, seriously, I even watch his videos to go to sleep!) and playing the game myself. I'm currently studying psychology at university and aim to one day be a mental health practitioner. At the moment I'm struggling a lot with depression, my ASC, managing my rather large emotions, and trauma from the past. There's more than that but those are the main issues I'd say. I've been here for a few years intermittently, but have decided to come back for good after being told I have moderately severe depression. That's about it I think - I'm not all that great at writing these bio type of things so hope that was enough, now you know a little bit about me :)


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Was told I have moderately severe depression.
Depression Support / by ItsReganingRain
Last post
 November 16th, 2023
...See more I had an appointment with a mental health practitioner yesterday - this was my second one with her as our first appointment overran and honestly, this one did too. I had told her everything about my issues, all of the problems that I was having and wanted help with. I was not at all expecting to be told that, according to my symptoms and my PHQ-9 score, I had moderately severe depression. I thought that because I no longer self-harmed and my suicidal thoughts had greatly decreased in frequency, that this meant I wasn't depressed anymore. No, it apparently just meant that I didn't have severe depression anymore. I still have negative thoughts, still horribly fatigued, I still can't do anything meaningful without an external deadline and sometimes not even then, still have no energy to do anything, I still lie in bed all day and just watch YouTube videos. I thought that was just because of autism, but apparently that is still depression. At first, I was shocked. Then I felt resentful. I've spent about two years in psychotherapy already, and my thinking was, "Was that all for nothing then?" But then I tried to remember what I had been like before the psychotherapy. Having constant thoughts of hurting myself. Thinking everyone around me was trying to kill me. Being utterly terrified of hurting others. And I realise, I have come a long way thanks to this therapy. I'm just not fully recovered yet - and that's understandable, I'm thinking as I write this post. A lot of things have happened in the last few years. COVID, the cost of living crisis, my entire life being overhauled as I moved to and started university. Now that I think about it, it really isn't that surprising that I never fully recovered. I also faced a lot of barriers to the psychotherapy as I was a child and was scared of what they might tell my parents - my parents also didn't like the idea of putting me on meds. But now I am an adult, I no longer have this problem, I have control over therapy and I am allowed to decide what medicine I do and don't take. This makes me feel that without these barriers, this new therapy can signal a new change in my life - a change for the better. I look forward and I feel hopeful for getting the help that I need and deserve. Maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel, at last.
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Can trans boys have anorexia?
Eating Disorder Support / by ItsReganingRain
Last post
 May 17th, 2019
...See more Sometimes I just get the feeling that I eat too much and I'm fat. I'm a transgender boy, and just wanted to know if this is weird for a boy to get anorexia.
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