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InigoMontoya
110 M Embraced 1
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts6 Forum posts10 Forum upvotes11 Current upvotes11 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2016 Member sinceJune 25, 2015
Recent forum posts
Good days and bad days
Depression Support / by InigoMontoya
Last post
 August 12th, 2015
...See more The last few days have been really...bad for me. My credit cards are almost maxed out (which a little background...have had horrible migraines for the last 8 years, nothing works, been to numerous doctors, been on over 20 different medications, went to a chiropractor, had Botox, nothing's worked. Had to go down to part time because of it and my dad getting sick. Dad passed away last December...just a lot going on, and now work has cut my hours to practically nothing.). So I the only good thing is that I've managed to get a second job, at a museum. What gets me and seems to get me every time, is that I see so many people who are happy and married and have kids, and I am over here with nothing. I have three friends in the whole universe and none of them live close. I haven't been on a date in...13-14 years. The only men that ask me out are older than my dad was. It's...so depressing to know that others your own age don't find you attractive. It just hurts to know that I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. My family doesn't know how deeply depressed I am. I've been since I was 13...so around 20 years. I've never been to a therapist, yet I know I should. I can't bring myself to fully admit that this is a HUGE problem and it needs to be fixed. Oddly enough, my last neurologist had prescribed me Cymbalta and, wow it worked. But my neurologist over a year ago, told me very bluntly, "I can't help you, find someone else." All in response to me wanting to try other things, because what I was on wasn't working, at all. How dare I try and help myself, especially when he wasn't suggesting anything new. So here I am, wondering what I am doing with my life and not being able to see a future. I honestly could not see me being older than 25. I thought, something was going to happen and I just wouldn't live beyond that. Of course I have...and life has seriously gone downhill from there. I can't bring myself to ask my family for help. My parents paid for most of my sister's education, but nothing on mine, apart from me asking for money for books last year. That was the only time I've ever asked for help. I know I'm the screw up of the family. My sister has two degrees under her belt. She has a good job, a house, car, the whole nine. All I have is credit card bills and student debt. It's been increasingly harder to find the good in my life. I just can't seem to get ahead in life. I don't...usually post to this site, with my problems. It's a pride thing...usually I post to an anon journal just to get my feelings out, so they aren't bundled up. This time, I just...I guess I need words of encouragement. I do apologize for the length of this post. If you are still with me, thank you for reading and I do hope you have a good day.
Chronic Migraines
Disability Support / by InigoMontoya
Last post
 April 25th, 2018
...See more Hello, I had a few questions to those who suffer from migraines.  I had migraines when I was 6 or 7, had them for a few years and then they just went away.  Back in 2008 I started to have them again.  I have been to 3 neurologists (first one had no new input, just refilled my prescriptions that I got at a med check, the second had a horrible horrible nurse who wouldn't call back unless you threatened to call the nursing board and this was after 3 days of waiting, and the last didn't even try.  He finally said "I can't help you, find someone else"), I have been to the chiropractor, a family doctor and a headache specialist.  I have been on over 20 different medications in the last 7 years, as well as Botox, had 2 MRI's and a sleep study and saw a chiropractor until I couldn't afford it anymore (It was running around 400/month).  The only medication that ever worked was Darvocet.  I was never addicted, never had heart palpatations, it never made me sick and it got rid of my migraine in about 15 minutes.  I am 33 now, had to cut down to part time at work, am in very real danger of losing my job, attempting to go to school and I have been denied disability, even though I can have migraines in upwards of 7 days a week (it varies week to week, even day to day).  I really do not know what to do.  I have tried oils, cutting different things out of my diet, changing the lightbulbs in my house to be softer and in a blue-tinged light (it's supposed to help).  I am not sure what else to do.  I am about 8,000.00 in credit card debt because of the reduced hours at work and I still have bills to pay (medical and repairs for 16 year old car).  My family doesn't know I am in such debt, I can't tell them.  My mom has told me to just "suck it up" and "deal with it".  I also can't ask them for anything as my dad died of pancreatic cancer this past December and my sister is pretty much the golden child, she can do no wrong.   Oh wow, sorry this is so long.  If anyone has any suggestions, I am open to anything at this point. I will eat dirt if you tell me it will cure any illness.  Currently for migraines I am taking just plain old Excedrin Migraine, as any sort of prescription has run out/not worked, and putting ice on my head/neck and just sleeping it off.  Thank you guys so much and I'm sorry that I wrote way too much.  Thank you.
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