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InexorablyFated
488 M Embraced 4
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts58 Forum posts33 Forum upvotes35 Current upvotes35 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2022 Member sinceJune 27, 2022
Bio

I am a man in my 40s. There is nothing really special about me. I have a good job, I take care of my responsibilities, and I work hard for everything I have. I am here because I am at a crossroads in my life. I spent so much time toward work and career goals that I lost a lot of love and chances along the way to have children and a legacy. Now as I am older, those things feel out of reach. What good is having things with no one to share them with and pass them down. Sorry for no picture, I am a big guy and I have gotten a lot of ridicule for it - so better not to have a picture so no judgment.


Recent forum posts
Reminiscing Old Relationships
Relationship Stress / by InexorablyFated
Last post
 July 13th, 2022
...See more As I sit here at the keyboard, thinking about how old I am, and whether I have the possible future of a relationship and family with someone; I find myself thinking about my past and my past relationships. Even though they all ended with very bad circumstances, they all have good memories attached to them. Were they as bad as I thought they were? Could I have done more, been more of what she wanted for her to stay? Maybe if I was a better partner, I would have what so many others have - a loving family. The constant thinking makes me feel like I really screwed up in my choices of love or my lack of seeing what I had and not "trying harder" to keep them. There isn't a day that goes by that thoughts of my past come back to me and it makes me feel like the person I was meant to be with has already passed me by. Does anyone else ever feel like this? What do I do to move past this? I am not sure it is possible new to make new memories with.
Tired of being the emotional punching bag
Relationship Stress / by InexorablyFated
Last post
 June 30th, 2022
...See more It is hard for me to write, but I will explain it the best as I can. For the last 15 years, It seems when I get into a relationship, things start off okay. I always try to be the good guy as I was raised. I have a good job, my own home, never use a woman for money or a place to live. I do not do drugs or excessively drink. I do not gamble. After a while of being with her, we get into an argument - about something small, but then she gets REALLY mad at me like I did something horrible. I try to just accept it as a bad day, but it starts to happen more and more. Whoever I am with, will tell me about how bad their last relationship was and the bad things the other guy did. Eventually, the arguments gets worse and then I am told I am like "him" and things end. I am tired of it. I left every dating site, I stopped socializing because I am just tired of being the person to take the punishment for the bad things someone else has done to them. No matter how many promises I make and show them I will love and respect them, I still can't escape the stigma of what someone else's shadow. While I sit here and take it until I can't. I seem to have a curse of finding the people in which I am just the outlet for their hurt and pain. I appreciate any advice how to break this cycle because I am just at a point where I truly have no hope for a family or future with anyone.
Life choices, lost future.
35 & Over Community / by InexorablyFated
Last post
 July 5th, 2022
...See more I have never written my thoughts anywhere before but I know that something within me is breaking and I do not know how to proceed. To explain i am a man in my 40s. In my life, i made choices to work hard, establish a career, and make money so that one day i could make a home and a family. While i did very well in my work and my career, my love life is like something out of a book of curses. I know I am not the most attractive man and have weight, but I thought (and was always told) that none of that matters and your personality is all that counts. I heard this in my 20s while I was getting established, in my 30s while I gained my stability, and even now in my 40s with all the resources. Now that I sit here looking back at my life, I see all my friends and family who have much less and are much happier. I know now that I choose a path that has left me without the chance of a future of family and kids. It bothers me so much and being a man of intelligence, I planned out how my life will end. While I am smart enough to know that it is not the way, holding back all the regrets and pain gets harder each day. I am lost within myself and stuck in a place of darkness. I am losing my motivation to work, for social interaction, and just life as a whole. As a man of logic, I am trying REALLY hard to find and understand the problem and find a solution. I just fear that the solution I come up with will be a literal dead end. Do I still have a future?
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