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HeresHoping92
1,476 M Little Steps 5
PathStep 122 Compassion hearts53 Forum posts100 Forum upvotes90 Current upvotes90 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2022 Member sinceSeptember 18, 2015
Recent forum posts
Realised I ruined everything too late
Relationship Stress / by HeresHoping92
Last post
 December 11th, 2017
...See more My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 5 years. In that time a lot of crap had happened and it changed who I was. I became selfish, uncaring and almost evil and I didnt realise until I lost him. All of our arguments would be about why he watched porn when it made me feel bad. He told me he would stop but never did and so I made him feel more and more guilty about why he would want to hurt me, knowing the entire time that I was watching it too, understanding what he felt but too scared to tell him in case he got mad at me for my deceit. I didnt realise until he left that me pretending to be ‘perfect is what was killing us all along. I lost the man I loved the most through my own fear and selfishness and now that I see this, all I want to do is make it right. We ended 2 weeks ago over him watching Porn again, but have been trying to sort things out. Yesterday I came clean and told him everything. He accepted my apology and told me not to blame myself but has since ignored my texts and calls. i hate what I have become, Im nothing of what I used to be and would do anything to make it work again. Many advice on how to go about this or anything else would be really helpful. I really love him so much. Just realised what I was doing too late
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