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Helpme10
4,042 M Seeking Light 4
PathStep 85 Compassion hearts159 Forum posts78 Forum upvotes108 Current upvotes108 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2022 Member sinceJuly 14, 2020
Bio

Hi. I go by the name Bell Doren. It's based off Latin "Belle Dolorem" meaning "beautiful sorrow." There isn't anything special about me, I'm just a broken boy with a broken heart and a shattered mind. I have no one to lean on so I come here.

 p.s. sorry if the username is awkward, it was an on the spot decision and I can't change it



Recent forum posts
Welcome to my life. ( possible trigger warning.)
Self-Harm Recovery / by Helpme10
Last post
 November 11th, 2022
...See more Hello. I'm not sure who will see this but it was suggested that I do this. Welcome to my life. It's a mess. I'm a perfectionist in a house of 9 people. One of my brothers and my dad tease me saying I have OCD. I don't have anyone I can talk too so the pressure just builds untill I blow. I've learnt to expect the worst so that I'll never be let down. I've learnt to hide the pain. I used to write songs to help me cope but then they were found. I was told to burn them and was called dramatic. I hear voices in my head. It is still my voice but I can't controll them. I often look out the window thinking that there has to be more to life than this. But, like the wind, you can see it but can never catch it. There is no one who understands me. I'm the black sheep in every group. It's a battle to get up every morning. Every battle has casualties and feel like I'm dieing bit by bit. My mind is such a mess that I don't even understand it sometimes. I could go on like this for awhile but it's starting to not make sense so I'll bring this to an end. Sorry to anyone who makes thier way through that mess of words.
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