HappierAni77 Member Profile

...See more So, I had a bestfriend, and I hurt him terribly by keeping something from him for 2 months. Actually the mistake was grave and a dealbraker. I take full responsibility for my mistake and I have been repenting since he found out. I was eventually going to tell him, but he found out through someone else. I totally agree, what I did was bad, and cannot be forgiven. I have written thousands of texts to him, but all he did was ignore me. I understand that he doesn't need to forgive me and I also understand if he never wants to talk to me again. Just I have written a lot to him, here's a snippet of my apology as well: "I agree with you. I consciously did whatever hurt you. You had no choice in what I did. Now, I have no choice in how you respond to me. You don’t owe me another chance, don’t need to accept my apology, and don’t need to forgive me. I am not going to push you to accept my apology; that would just mean adding yet another proof of my selfishness and inconsideration. I want to prioritize both your feelings and your needs, which I should have done earlier as well. And I will follow this by completely respecting your boundaries. I acknowledge your ignorance as your request and give ample space, which I wasn’t giving essentially. I know I said I would try again and again and, of course, do my very best to bring any ground of peace to our friendship. This is me trying, but I also realize that continuing to reach out will only further damage the relationship, hence the space and allowing time for your feelings to settle before considering any future communication." This is just like 10%. He hasn't even replied with even a single text and has left me on seen since days. I have archived him over whatsapp but the app's UI sucks. The archived chats are right at the top and constantly showing how many unread are present there. Whenever a number of unread message appears, I rush to check whether it's his text only to my dissapointment. I know he may never reply me. I know I did my part by apologising wholeheartedly, but it's driving me mad. The constant checking, the desparation of waiting for his text, it's really bugging the *** out of me. It only adds more regret and I feel more and more sick. I really don't wanna get consumed by this. I have done my part and now I am ready to move on, but I am not able to.

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