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Ghostintheflame
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts34 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2024 Member sinceJuly 23, 2024
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26 here, recently coming to terms with my gender identity and need vent out some feelings
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by Ghostintheflame
Last post
 August 4th
...See more I feel like I should see a therapist before stating I’m definitively transgender but that’s where everything in my mind has been leading me towards. I was born male but I’ve been experiencing issues related to my gender identity for at least 10 years now, possibly and probably longer. I at first tried to keep these thoughts down, at first being confused and later wanting to not want to deal with something as stressful as this. But as time has gone the more I can’t deny what’s really inside me. Thoughts of wishing, longing to be a woman have become constant thoughts throughout everyday. Imagining how life would be different if I could start over and be a woman. I know being a woman isn’t easier than being a man but I do think it would be easier for me, particularly my mental health.  Sadly though, I’m not in a position to afford therapy and HRT or even to afford new feminine clothes to help me feel more comfortable. I hope to be in a more stable position soon but it does feel like time for me to really start expressing myself the way I want to is running out. 26 is still young, 27 is still young but if I still can’t actually transition soon idk what I’ll do. I’m hoping by 30 I can start to live my new life, my true life. I can still handle presenting as a man in the short term but if I still am by 30 I feel my mental state will come crashing down by a lot.  For now, I’m trying to present more as feminine online to see how that makes me feel. So far it feels really nice in the couple instances I have done it since coming to terms with my gender identity recently and it also felt really nice when I would do it before fully coming to terms with it. Soon I’ll be shaving off my beard I have had for a while and seeing how that makes me feel, it’ll either make my dysphoria worse by actually being able to see my face or help by being more easily able to imagine myself as a woman. I have naturally really short hair, idk if there’s many treatments for it to grow naturally but I would adore having long hair. Maybe I’ll try to get some wigs, would probably do good since I also adore the idea of having different colored hair.  I’m really excited that the new game of my favorite video game series, Dragon Age: The Veilguard, will have the option to make the player character transgender. That’ll definitely be an even further step for me from playing as women in most video games nowadays when given the option. Don’t have much else to say, hope whoever reads this has a great day. 
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