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FleetingBardSong
2,429 M Hopeful Heart 4
PathStep 196 Compassion hearts122 Forum posts129 Forum upvotes164 Current upvotes164 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2021 Member sinceJuly 27, 2020
Bio
All the money in the mint couldn't water a drought.

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Hello. I'm a 29 year old on the autism spectrum trying to cope with bipolar II. I like art, music, reading, invertibrate husbandry and spending time wandering outside when I have the energy. I play a lot of video games. I love my cats.

If you have a feeling you recognize me from other social media platforms, I'd appreciate not knowing unless you are a close friend! Additionally, please don't leak my information if so.

Avatar credit:
Hals, Frans. The Lute Player. 1623, Musée du Louvre, Paris.
Recent forum posts
Animal Husbandry (exotic/atypical or farm care)
Hobby Zone / by FleetingBardSong
Last post
 December 1st, 2020
...See more Hello! Is anyone up for discussions centered around exotic animal husbandry? Please share! I'd love to hear. This topic is mainly for exotic/atypical or farm husbandry, but everyone is welcome to share their love for their pets. If you don't know where to start, here are some prompts (optional of course): ☆ What kinds of animals do you keep or want to keep? ☆ What other animal care interests you? ☆ How do your pets and related hobbies affect you positively? ☆ What have you learned from keeping animals? ☆ What other interests do you have? I love invertibrate husbandry and am currently getting into the hobby of setting up bioactive terrariums. Currently I have a tank set up with hissing cockroaches (Gromphadorhina portentosa) and their clean up crew (Dairy cow isopods and springtails)! I love tarantulas and currently have three spiderlings (I just had two sadly pass away without clear reason. A juvenile/sub-adult and a sling. If anyone could help me with this, please PM? All of my friends are stumped). My current species are T. albopilosum, B. hamorii, and G. pulchra. I should be having 3 more spiderlings on the way soon, and possibly an adult. In the realm of archnids, I also keep a Tegeneria domestica. I would love to try keeping honey bees some day, but right now I don't have the energy to do so. I also really enjoy the idea of keeping chickens for fresh eggs as they are very intelligent and interactive pets (also cruelty free eggs!). I love the idea of herping and keeping frogs or toads, but I lack the energy to keep up with the responsibility. What would you like to share?
Self-Improvement in terms of relationships
Relationship Stress / by FleetingBardSong
Last post
 August 9th, 2020
...See more I'm always trying to improve myself when it comes to interacting with other people, but I have a lot to work on. What are some ways to recognize personal flaws that go over your head? A lot of people I interact off-site with are non-confrontational or don't want to be rude by saying something to me, I'm sure. I know that I myself have problems with the rhetoric I use at times, but I find it hard to fix if something is not brought to my attention. I'm on the autism spectrum so it's likely that has a minor effect. Sometimes I have trouble gleaning from people's text in online settings what their implied feelings are and take their words for face value (reading between the lines I think that is?). That can make it hard to evaluate situations. When they use explicit language to explain their feelings I understand what they mean, though (such as on this forum). I watch a lot of videos on youtube considering emotional intelligence that are a roundabout way of making improvements at least (I would comment specifics but I don't want to come off as promoting channels)!
Missing a toxic friendship
Relationship Stress / by FleetingBardSong
Last post
 August 3rd, 2020
...See more After several years of friendship, this week me and a friend's relationship ended. Weeks before things had been tense and we were trying to patch things up but she was never honest or open about any communication. Upon review, she had been playing into my poor mental health (validating ideas such as helplessness; for context I have severe bipolar) to keep me attached and dependent on her. She said she had a fear of abandonment and didn't want me to ever leave. She'd use many psychological abuse tactics on me when she was upset, and ultimately shift the blame of our friendship's demise. Many I've talked to have pointed out tactics she'd used that I hadn't even noticed. On ending it, she seemed apathetic to me, while I was devestated. I wasn't an angel either, as I would call her out on things she'd do (such as stonewall, lie, exacerbate my paranoia on purpose) which would start arguments. She said she couldn't handle that anymore and it gave her nightmares. She justifyed her stonewalling, lying, and gaslighting on how she was raised and to act differently causes too much anxiety. In short, our relationship was not healthy. Fairly, she acknolleged we weren't healthy for each other at the end. Despite objectively knowing that, I can't help but miss being friends with her. I'm not entirely sure why. I don't know what to do other than be broken up about it. I blame myself pretty often and feel like I'd do anything to have our friendship back because I'd forgive everything she'd do. I feel like I don't care how I'd be personally treated and would be any way she'd want me to be. A big part of it is that over the years I'd isolated myself from all of my close friends for her, now finding myself alone while she had other support systems to fall on. I'm not really sure how to cope with all of this.
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