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FatiCR
138 M Embraced 1
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts17 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2023 Member sinceNovember 15, 2023
Recent forum posts
journaling....vent, 1/15/23 anxiety / emotional while in school.
Journals & Diaries / by FatiCR
Last post
 November 20th, 2023
...See more today was ok during school. I needed space from my friends today, I find that peace is very important. I usually get alot better when I have time by myself with my emotions, it lets them pass on. after a some conflicts with my friends, I've was really emotional, and im kind up charging up from it. one thing I notice is that I still have retained emotions from the past with them. i cant seem to let them out or talk to them about it , and usually when I make a mistake that made them mad at me, i have those thoughts and past memories. I just cant seem to pass on the conflict. im just not comfortable anymore. im not perfect. im an emotional mess at times, being at school everyday, homework and applications, i never have decent time to myself.  i dont think i want to talk to my friends about my personal conflicts with them or what they did that hurt me because i simply want to avoid any type of argument. i hate feeling emotional during any fight or arguments. i hate when voices are raised. not that anytime i do express my feelings, there is an argument, because that is not true, but im just. i dont know. i dont know what to feel. i dont want to be around my friends. its not them....its me.  im trying to improve regulating and controlling my emotions. minor inconveniences can trigger me. any type of inconvenience that i dont understand at the time trigger me. i find this happens alot during school, espically because of my compulsions. it usually builds up and I end up tired and exhausted at the end of the week.  i cant remember what could of happened to me during middle school or earlier school years, but bullying definently did not help. as for tomorrow, im still going to be on my own during the morning and maybe during break. i need more time to process my emotional turmoil this week. i dont have time to be happy, and I dont want to rely it on my friends either...so...
Help with a unique OCD? (First post!)
OCD & Related Behaviors / by FatiCR
Last post
 November 20th, 2023
...See more Help with a unique OCD? (First post!) Hello. I am teen member and I have been suffering with a unique compulsion whenever I am in public spaces. It can be any public space, even my family. I am not currently diagnosed with anything, but at this point its pretty clear that my mind has sabotaged my social life and relationships. It has caused months of depression.  I still have friends but because of my anxiety and difficulty with dealing with emotions, I've been having problems with them recently. I came here as a result, to hopefully find some help. When I am near someone, unless I am completey relaxed or familiar with that person, I get anxiety or emotions that make me uncomfortable. I become afraid that my eyes will look like I am staring at that person, and I have even caught myself uncontrollably, compulsively look at people that I don't want to intentionally look at. Its, weird, I know, I don't even know where it could of really gotten this severe. It slowly built up over time because more instances of severe and constant compulsions build up.  It sabotages my social life so much that people I have never talked to begin to not like me for this reason. Because of this, I feel like and do believe that no one I go to school with likes me or finds me odd and weird. I don't know how to deal with this other than spending up to an hour everyday to prepare for school the next day. I did some research and apparently it is a thing, peripheral OCD, but it is uncommon I think? I don't know. I feel like some help and reassurance to deal with it can help me allot. I deal with this nearly everyday. I am not trying to self-diagnose either, it is just that I deal with this anytime I am not alone and I can't help but reach out for help.
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