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Evolutiontakesalifetime
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2020 Member sinceJanuary 27, 2020
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Anxiety Support / by Evolutiontakesalifetime
Last post
 January 27th, 2020
...See more This is hard for me. I'm over 50 and from the outside, I look successful, but I've had lifelong struggles with anxiety, depression, self-esteem and anger. I had a difficult childhood with a somewhat abusive father and that caused me to have a number of issues which I have not been able to shake. I have alway had a lot of work anxiety with bosses who are dominating, because I see my father in them, and it makes me feel anxious and sick. I also feel easily slighted and am overly sensitive. Recently, I've had emotional blow-ups at home when I felt like my family was laughing at me when I was not trying to be funny - I just said something in a way that they thought was funny. I thought it was not funny and I told them so, and when I expressed that it bothered me, they told me that I was acting like a child, and that mad me even more hurt and mad. I'm sure it's from having poor self-esteem, but it's also from not understanding why my family finds the need to laugh at me when they know it bothers me. It feels like I spend all of my time either working or helping everything with their stuff, and nobody really helps me. I don't really have any self-nurturing - I've always just tried to make everyone else happy. Maybe it's because I've always wanted to make sure I'm earning everyone's love or because I need praise. It just feels so complicated and overwhelming. I often wonder if I'm the only one with this many issues and this much complexity. I'm just hoping that someone will read this and tell me that I'm not the only one who feels like this. I already take meds for anxiety and obviously these issues are not going away. I just feel really unhappy despite having kids that I know love me.
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