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Ella3141
31,349 M Determined Treads 2
PathStep 69 Compassion hearts1,362 Forum posts60 Forum upvotes88 Current upvotes88 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2016 Member sinceFebruary 20, 2015
Recent forum posts
Letters to myself
Journals & Diaries / by Ella3141
Last post
 August 22nd, 2016
...See more I just wanted to write a short post about this realization I had a few days back that might maybe help someone else out there. A few months back, but still fairly recently, I started this tiny, rather infrequent habit of writing myself letters in difficult moments when I needed some support. I was suffering from depression and self-harm, and have been in recovery and feeling a lot better in the last few weeks and months. The idea to write myself letters during times of doubt, fear and hopelessness stemmed from my knowledge about journaling and arguing against negative thoughts. I tried combining the two, because a letter helped me structure my thoughts, it felt less silly to me than to speak out loud (a subjective feeling), and I could read it again later if I wanted to. Additionally, I could be radically honest in my letters, and write about things I couldn't mention to anyone else. My rule was that I would directly adress myself in these letters, and write to myself in the most understanding, compassionate, validating and supportive way I could. It didn't matter if it felt fake when I started writing, I would just continue until I started to feel better. I would channel the kindest inner voice I could find inside my head, even if it felt like a liar in that moment, and I would write to myself as I would to a friend or family member that I loved, honestly, but with as much love and patience as I could muster. Not a single negative, hurtful sentence would be allowed, even though most of my darkest moments were filled with self-hatred. I was surprised to find how easy it was to write these letters to myself, and how much of a calming effect they would have on me, and also how encouraging it was to read them even long after I had written them. I discovered an alternative voice inside myself that was much stronger and wiser than I could have thought. Don't get me wrong, I still remain an extremely self-critical person, and I am in no ways better than anyone else, but now I know that there is a different voice and that I can channel it if I want to. Anyway, a few days ago, I read the letters again. And there was a new surprise: I suddenly saw not only the kindness, but the truth in the words I had written. A lot of the things in those letters have proven to be true in the past weeks, and it shocked me how my wiser, kinder self had been able to look into my future much more than my inner critic ever could, and that its words weren't only vague promises, but had actually come true. The times I had promised myself I would get through, I survived. The feelings I told myself would pass, passed. The things I told myself I could achieve, I did. I wrote to myself that things would be ok, and that people loved me, and they are, and they do. So all I can say is that when you feel like your greatest enemy, you might also be your strongest ally, if you give that ally a voice.
Mental health - Support staying happy!
General Support / by Ella3141
Last post
 July 1st, 2015
...See more I would just like to share an important AHA moment that is very influential on my perception of mental health. I will very briefly explain the context before I move on to the actual two realizations that I'd like to share: Mental illness is an issue in my family (as I am sure it is in most, whether acknowledged or not) and it fascinates and seriously scares me at the same time (I hope I am not alone in that). During my battle with  this fear and with the question of my own mental health, I had two realizations that struck me as being key to mental health, especially when you are not currently suffering from mental illness but have nonetheless experienced it in your family: 1. Mental illness can be preventable (I am speaking from a personal view point regarding depression and am aware this is not always true). Yes, it's a scary thought than I will probably be exposed to it in the course of my life, but I am not helpless. It is not a "fate" hanging over me like an invisible threat. I can take measures to prevent or alleviate it, which leads me to: 2. I don't have to be miserable to seek professional help. Being miserable is NOT the "excuse" for seeking help and support, it is the consequence of NOT DOING SO early on. If I have issues I need to work through and when difficult times arise, I am responsible for taking action BEFORE I actually become miserable. It is my simple and natural right to be happy always, and therefore it is also my simple and natural right to ask for help to either get there or KEEP IT THAT WAY, regardless of how well I am presently. Of course, all this applies to everyone (in my mind). Let me know what you think!
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