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DontForgetTheSunLove
509 M Embraced 4
PathStep 10 Compassion hearts24 Forum posts13 Forum upvotes10 Current upvotes10 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2024 Member sinceApril 13, 2021
Bio

Hey, you guys can call me Bee.

I'm a pansexual, goth/punk/alt, I like making friends but don't have many.


Recent forum posts
Need advice/help
Relationship Stress / by DontForgetTheSunLove
Last post
 May 21st, 2021
...See more I'm falling in love with a man 20 years older than me. It's not a physical thing if your thinking lust, it feels like a in depth "I want to know him better, I want to know when I wake up he's the one by my side." I doubt he has any feelings for me, and I didn't realize I had feelings for him until one day we were laughing and joking around together and it hit me that I didn't want to lose him, and that I'd never felt like this before about anyone. I think the biggest problem is that he's my boss./supervisor. Okay, any advice, what do I do?
***TW***Abuse venting
Trauma Support / by DontForgetTheSunLove
Last post
 April 18th, 2021
...See more It all started when I was being sexually abused as a kid by my biological father. I've been having nightmares about him coming back. I was sent to therapy for panic attacks and night terrors while I was little, i told the therapist what he was doing and she didn't believe me. I didn't tell again until I was 16. A few weeks ago I had a mental breakdown at work on my boss after a particularly rough night of nightmares, and I don't know what to do anymore. The nightmares come in series'. It plays out over several nights then starts all over again. Some mornings I wake up and can't remember the dream but I can still feel my heart racing and can feel his hands all over me and it causes my to feel anxious all day. Sometimes I can't remember anything, even where I am or how old I am. My therapist quit, and I haven't had time to find a new one. I've been struggling with old habits as well, ones I won't address specifically as to avoid triggering anyone. I've been depressed and often hide in the stairwell during break at work. I know that no one will look for me, and if they did they wouldn't find me easily there. I got into am abusive relationship, and I keep asking myself if I was overreacting? He kept touching me and trying to push me into sex even though I told him I was scared of sex. He manipulated me into sending him pictures and if I refused threatened to hurt or kill himself. He cornered me in the back of a store and grabbed me, my arm was bruised in the process. He wanted me to do things with him, I kept trying to talk my way out of it until someone came to help me, but no one came. I forced myself away from him and he followed me. I the next day after he forcefully kissed me I went home and that night attempted sui*ide. The police got my mom to do an intervention while I was hospitalized, and I didn't go back do dating him. He recently went to jail, and I'm more at ease knowing he's not going to randomly show up. I'm just scared, what if all along I've made this all up, what if I'm wrong? What if nothing happened? Sorry, I just needed to vent and I don't know how this works yet... If I need to I can delete this, again sorry I don't know what I'm doing.
Homophobic Family Problems
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by DontForgetTheSunLove
Last post
 April 21st, 2021
...See more My uncle threatened to burn a rainbow flag if he sees one, I couldn't stand up for the lgbt because I'm still closeted. I saw a female just beginning her transition, and my coworkers we're making fun of her. I couldn't stand up for her because I'm closeted and they're homophobic. I don't know why I'm even posting this, I feel aweful about not standing up... So, I know I'll never get the chance to apologize to her in person, but maybe one day she'll see this. I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do, I feel like I'm drowning under lies. I insulted gays just to stay closeted. There's no excuse, but I don't know what else to do. Sorry everyone. 😔 If there's anything you can suggest, please do.
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