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Dolphinrainbow
912 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 10 Compassion hearts26 Forum posts12 Forum upvotes10 Current upvotes10 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2023 Member sinceApril 25, 2016
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Bad habits returning
Eating Disorder Support / by Dolphinrainbow
Last post
 June 2nd, 2016
...See more I've been living away from home for about 3 months and I haven't been eating as well as I should, but it hasn't been a concious choice, I just don't feel hungry when I'm upset or angry and after a recent breakup that's all I've been feeling, so I've been eating because I know I have to eat but not feeling hungry (I'm just as confused as you are haha) 
 but anyway a couple of years ago I suffered with anorexia, not 'badly' but I would make a concious choice not to eat for days and would adore people saying is lost weight, practically lived for people telling I looked thinner (you probably know the feeling) but for about 2 years I've steadily put on weight and all those thoughts had gone.
 so now I've come home and I don't think I've lost any weight , but everyone at home is telling me how skinny I look and how much weight I've lost... I can't help but get that swell of pride in my chest and since people have been saying it I find myself holding back on eating junk foods which I haven't done since I was ill... I don't think I'm doing it on purpose and I really don't want to get ill again, any advice on how to avoid avoiding food?
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What am I suppose to do now?
Relationship Stress / by Dolphinrainbow
Last post
 June 8th, 2016
...See more So from the time I was about 13 until I was 17 I suffered badly with depression, I started self harming at 13 but regularly when I was 15. At 15 I also developed an eating disorder, and this all lead to me attempting suicide at 17, but thankfully I was unsuccessful and then 3 weeks after my attempt this boy started talking to me, he was funny, cheeky, really nice to me. He said from the start that he wanted to be my boyfriend... Fast forward 3 years I still struggle with depression but I think I've got the upper hand most of the time, I don't self harm and eat 'normally'... I attribute all of this to him, I was broken before, I didn't know who I was, I was just depression and anorexia before him, I would come home from school, sit in my room hurt myself and exercise till I couldn't stand before him.
 obviously it wasn't all plain sailing for the 3 years, but we were good. He made me better, he would show me new foods I might like, stay up all hours of the night to talk to me when I was down... Then suddenly he doesn't want to be with me anymore, he won't tell me what I did wrong, he's got a new girlfriend now and I'm left with everything we built up as a reminder, the food I eat is a reminder, the things I watch on the tv, the clothes I wear, the things I find funny... My whole personality and life were built with him and everytime I think about it, it hurts.. It's been 4 months since we split up and I'm still getting upset about it.. I don't know who I am without him.... Can anybody give me some advice?
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