Hello, all.. well what to say???? Had a car accident 22-2-2010 and changed my life / world and “future”.. work did not want me back, my mind went to mush, I was also helping with whistleblowing national scale, against major animal welfare org that I was poster boy and worked for.. on their t.v. Ads, wrote the rules on body language for dogs, what lives and dies (heartbreaking, those who love them the most, have to at times do the worst things to - for them) in Oz.. 

several breakdowns, and attempted to end it all a few times.. over 5 years ago for last major issues, yet also don’t go out now apart from the pub.. oh and gave up drinking 2 weeks ago, therefore that friend network is also about to break down.. however…. I truly believe; ever soooooo lucky that I had personal insurance and received a payout that allowed me to by land in the bush away from everyone who knew me before the accident, as I am 1-10th if that of the person I was.. one of the reasons for breaking, the court case for the accident lasted 9years, 6months, 5days and it was my own legal team that drew it out.. grr.. I went from 6 figure job+ biz for “red flag” animals to doing on disability pension and get enough now for dog stuff and basic life.. it is all I need don’t get me wrong.. Alas, quite the shock.. 

started a email relationship with my father recently and that is going ok.. I know that he is saddened by who I have become and I get that… ++++++ noticing writing this lots of I, this and I that.. so going to stop writing.. really looking forward to the chance to speak with others who have remade a life with this brokenness and how they got to that point.. 

choosing to live remote was a great choice at the time, maybe not for mental health support or medical help, lol.. closest real town, hospital or people a few hours drive.. it is beautiful in the bush and the dogs that been thru this little rescue all appreciate it I know.. yet still feel empty and I (again, grr) KNOW not really a person people want to be around for more than about 10-30mins.. Restricting the time others have to endure me.. 

if anyone actually read all of this, thank you and looking forward to what may be? 🐾✌️🌄🦘🇦🇺🤠🌅🐶

nate & the Mutz..