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Disabledfemme
2,773 M Hopeful Heart 6
PathStep 264 Compassion hearts224 Forum posts42 Forum upvotes87 Current upvotes87 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2022 Member sinceSeptember 18, 2015
Bio

My name is Jasper I'm a 31 y/o two-spirit nonbinary femme. I struggle with a chronic pain disability, fibromyalgia, nerve pain and arthritis, chronic pelvic pain. I also struggle with depression & anxiety, & borderline personality disorder, so I can understand those topics easily. wanting to chat about disability, LGBT+ issues, relationships, depression + anxiety.

Recent forum posts
Alternatives to head-hitting?
Personality Disorders Support / by Disabledfemme
Last post
 November 19th, 2015
...See more I've managed with alternatives to quit cutting. I stopped when I was a teenager and I haven't cut since, I use alternative things like snapping an elastic band and hot wax on my arm. But recently as in the last year and a half I've started to hit my head with an open palm. The root issue here is seeing my childhood abuser hit himself in the head repeatedly during my childhood and my childhood abuse is something I've been trying to work through lately, so I believe I'm subconsciously acting out what I saw. I'm looking for alternatives to this act. I've tried to hit a pillow but its too "soft" and hitting a table isn't satisfying and makes a lot of noise.. Any ideas?? I'll try anything. Obviously trying to stop outright is the key which I've been doing and in the last month I've only done it once (instead of weekly) but i'm looking for something to do when I'm at a breaking point with a self harm urge.
BPD Self Regulation Clinic
Personality Disorders Support / by Disabledfemme
Last post
 December 2nd, 2015
...See more Hello all!! I've been accepted to a self-regulation clinic for BPD and my intake will be in November :) The clinic description is as follows: "The Borderline Personality Self-Regulation Clinic Serves individuals, 18 years of age and older, who have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and are experiencing difficulties managing their symptoms using Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). The goals of this 1 year, twice weekly program includes: reducing symptomatology, maladaptive behaviours, and current psychological distress associated with BPD, decreasing frequency of admissions to in-patient units and ER visits, decreasing length of stay in in-patient services, increasing coping skills, and improving quality of life for individuals who have been diagnosed with having BPD. Clinic services include: Dialectical Behaviour Therapy Standard Program Step-down phase support After-care support Individual, couple and family counselling Intensive group therapy " has anyone been through anything similar?
Trying a Dietitian
Healthy Living / by Disabledfemme
Last post
 November 21st, 2015
...See more Hey everyone, I recently got a new (amazing) GP and he has really listened to my issues surrounding my health concerns. I was in a car accident 2 years ago that left me physically disabled with chronic pain from multiple conditions that basically leave me unable to exercise in many easy conventional ways. Prior to my car accident, I was very active, going to the gym multiple times a week and enjoying being a healthy 180lbs at 5'8''. Since the accident, I went through many months of rehabilitation and relearning how to walk, etc. I gained a lot of weight from being on bed rest and being on so much medication. I'm back up to 240lbs with a waist of 44" and I can't do much more exercise than a bit of wiifit or walking or stretching (modified yoga at best). So my new GP's wife is a dietitian and he said he would love for me to have a visit with her and try her out and see if that would make a difference. Boy, after two years of not giving a crap and quite frankly using food as comfort it's harder to eat right than I thought it would be purely due to so much cheap fast food temptation there is out there. So my dietitian guidelines are as follows: -1800 calories a day -eliminate pop -eliminate potato chips + chocolate -eat breakfast -eat every 4 hours you're awake -as much fruit, veggies and protein as possible -drink a lot of water -get a pedometer and try for 5K steps (10K is daily average/abled person) let's see how I do after a month! :) Anyone have any experiences with a dietitian? What was their advice? Did it help? Did you enjoy the experience?
Walking for Self-care & Health
Healthy Living / by Disabledfemme
Last post
 September 25th, 2015
...See more So recently I've been trying little things to help my body. Drink more water, sleep more regularly, simple self care things I can accomplish. One of my main problems is mobility, as I am disabled with chronic pain, and my doctor says I have to keep moving now to be able to keep moving in the future. Basically, the more I walk now the more I get to walk around when I'm older. And I'd love to stay up and mobile for as long as possible. My dietitian & GP suggested buying a pedometer and tracking my number of steps each day. Pedometers can be really expensive though, so I searched the Google play app store & downloaded one for my cellphone! It's called Pacer & it seems pretty accurate so far but there were so many and they cater to a lot of different types of people I'm sure. Yesterday was a good pain day and I did 6,000 steps.. today was a little harder and I did around 2,000. 10,000 steps is the daily goal for a healthy able bodied person. Healthy Body = Healthy Mind Who else walks to keep themselves healthy? Who else walks as a form of self care? Anyone gonna take this up & download a pedometer?
The Morning Pages
General Support / by Disabledfemme
Last post
 November 11th, 2015
...See more hey all! Thought I'd kick start this goal setting activities thread page with the only goal setting activity that I really know... The Morning Pages!! Ever heard of it?? So here's what you do... each and every morning you wake up, grab a piece of paper and a pen and jot. down. everything from thoughts, dreams, fears, everything you're worried about, to do lists, ideas and anything else you want to remember! This basically helps you to get your mind clear of everything, now you don't NEED to remember all those random things because you've solidified it by writing it down and now it's no longer floating around aimlessly in your brain. Who does this? Anyone gonna start this or try it for a few days?
C-PTSD: CSA, domestic abuse, car crash
Trauma Support / by Disabledfemme
Last post
 September 25th, 2015
...See more Hello everyone. I wanted to share my story of being diagnosed with C-PTSD. I've had many traumatic experiences in my life. My mother & father seperated when I was very small and my mother started dating soon after. She fell in love with a fellow alcoholic artist who was extremely abusive to her, and he came with two small children whom he looked after. They became my brothers & he became my tormentor. I experienced severe childhood abuse from both this man & my mother and eventually I was placed into a group home & then a foster home when my mother went to jail for child neglect. I never saw "my brothers" because we were seperated in the system because we were not blood related. I went to live with my dad and this was age 11. I experience weekly nightmares of my mothers old boyfriend. Around age 16 I dropped out of grade 10 and 2 years later I found myself in a severely abusive relationship. He was very controlling and physically abusive all the time. It took 2 years to get out of that relationship with the help of the police & domestic helplines in my area. I still experience a lot of habits I had from this domestic relationship including acting strangely towards my current partner, getting scared easily when I think he is upset at me, etc etc. I finally found a new guy a while later and we've been together ever since. He encouraged me to join a gym, become healthier, loose 80lbs and get my first ever job which I worked at for a year right up until my car accident. My partner was driving me and someone ran a red light, slammed into my passenger side of the car and left me permanently disabled. Lived in the hospital and a rehabilitation facility for many weeks after. I had a wheelchair for 6 months after the accident & a daily nurse for a year and a half. I have severe PTSD from this incident & experience daily nightmares & flashbacks. I also have nightmares regarding the hospital and rehab facility. 2 days ago I was formally diagnosed with C-PTSD & confirmed a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder & depression. I was referred to a PTSD clinic but I'm just waiting now. I am trying so hard not to let this effect me but it's so hard. It feels like whenever my life gets better, something else horrible happens to me.
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