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Deadbug
1 1,399 M Little Steps 4
PathStep 112 Compassion hearts66 Forum posts17 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2024 Member sinceApril 22, 2019
Bio

I have a paper heart and i cry very easily.

I'm tired of the place I live in right now. 

Recent forum posts
To cut or not cut the hair of my nephew.
Family & Caregivers / by Deadbug
Last post
 March 16th, 2021
...See more I know that by the title you can tell this is a dumb issue. I wish it wasn't an issue at all. Context: I live with my grandparents, along with my younger sister and her baby boy. He is 1 year and 8 months old. And his mother has never cut his hair, not once. And the issue is, that the kid is really unhappy with long hair. It is a mess, he cries every time you have to fix his hair a bit, he hates how long it takes to dry it after a bath, he gets food on it constantly, etc. Any parent will understand, that a little boy with long hair is a nightmare for both the parent and the little baby. He can't even walk sometimes without his hair getting on his eyes. So, literally everyone in the family has told the mother to just cut his hair! But she won't do it, because she just loves to have a boy doll to play with. She doesn't care at all about the kid crying and feeling bad, she just wants her friends to praise her for being "a brave mom that let's the boy have long hair" and to use him to take pictures and get likes on Instagram. And she also spends most of her time away from home with her boyfriend and friends. And when she is home she barely even pays attention to the baby. Like, right now she is not home. Has not been for the whole weekend. And my grandparents are old and tired. And I cannot live my life because I have to do the nanny job. All I want is for the job to be easier, and for the baby to not cry anymore because of his damn hair. I told everyone I would cut it, but they don't want me because "she could get angry and they don't want anyone to fight" And all of this makes me really angry, coz the really care more about a "fight" (not saying we will fight) over the wellbeing of the baby. He doesn't deserve that. And hearing him cry stresses me out so much more I want to cry too... What should I do? I want to just go and cut it, but no one will back me up... And she just won't do it, no matter what anyone says. I know it is not the worst problem in the world. But I really need the opinion of someone and I have no one... Thank you so much if you read it all!
How to manage my past traumas with new people
Relationship Stress / by Deadbug
Last post
 July 10th, 2020
...See more I have been going to a psychologist for almost a year. My doc has told me that I have deep problems of abandonment. And I knew that, but having it confirmed has taught me that I have to try to be stronger than those old feelings and wounds that still hunt me very often. But it's so incredibly difficult and exhausting. I have a best friend, she is wonderful and I know that she cares about me. She is not like the people in my past that hurt me. That I'm very conscious about. But every time something little happens (not even a really bad thing) I cannot stop obsessing about it and I start feeling worse and worse because I can't fix everything and I can't make sure she will be happy forever in order for her to not abandon me. (it's a mess, I know and I'm ashamed) Right now I'm feeling terrible and anxious. And nothing bad has happened! She hasn't answered me in all day and that's odd, but thats also inside of what is normal. I know that, but I'm still so scared and sad. I know I have to be patient and tell myself that all will be ok, that I have to focus on things that make me happy until she decides to answer. But I can't stop thinking about it, and about how much it hurts to feel so lonely. And I know I shouldn't pester her about this, and wait and respect her times and boundaries, while I try to solve and learn how to manage myself better. But in moments like right now, were my wounds reopen and all hurts and I feel so hearth broken, I just don't know what to do! How am I supposed to be better about this? How can I feel better so my current friendship feels more healthy? And if I want to try to make new friends, how should I warn them about this problems I have? I don't think hiding this would do me good, but no one wants to be friends with someone so hurt and sensitive... -sighs- I apologize if this is not the right place to talk about this. But due to pandemia I lost my job and I can't go see my doc for now... I'm not looking for a magical answer, but ideas and emphaty would mean a lot to me 😭♡ (it's my first post, sorry if anything goes wrong)
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