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DariaandJane
5,362 M Moving Along
PathStep 77 Compassion hearts46 Forum posts93 Forum upvotes133 Current upvotes133 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2018 Member sinceMarch 12, 2016
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Another life
Depression Support / by DariaandJane
Last post
March 7th, 2017
...See more To be honest I feel like this topic could be in a few forums but I feel like the depression one is the closest to the feeling. Do you ever look at strangers or friends or family and think "Man look at how great their life is!" and get lost in the idea of having a new life? I feel like I do that more and more lately. I feel guilty for doing it though. On the surface, I have a life a lot of people would want. I live in a house with my boyfriend, I have a job, and a business. That's why I feel so guilty when I think about how quickly I would trade it for a different life. The life I have, as great as it sounds for some, is not the life I want. It's a very strange feeling to cope with. If I had a sort of "reset to perfect" scenario, I'd be with a different guy and probably leave the country to see the rest of the world. Maybe settle down near a coastal city and work on my art. Eventually having kids would be nice, but with the right details, I could be content childless. But I try not to think too hard about it, because it really fuels my anxiety and self deprecating nature. It's just so weird, feeling like I'm caged in this life I hate when others would easily trade their lives for mine. It feels wrong, but it would feel so right to get away sometimes. I don't know if it would actually be better, but I wish I could try it and find out.
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Fetish Insecurity
Relationship Stress / by DariaandJane
Last post
March 7th, 2017
...See more I feel like everyone has certain kinks that will never sit quite right with them. I'm certainly never going to judge anyone with a different fetish as long as it's done safely and with proper consent. But I feel this strange insecurity around people about my own interests. I'm more into bondage and some light masochism. I'm certainly not as extreme as some, but I know it's not everyone's thing. It sounds weird, but a part of me just kind of knew it was something I was into since I started puberty. I just didn't know what it was called but I never shied away from it. I thought I was comfortable with it, but I feel like potential partners are scared of the idea. It's frustrating that what I like is looked at as wrong or disturbing. I have some pretty well set limits and I'm nowhere near as extreme as others with such interests, but I feel like just saying it stops some people in their tracks. It's frustrating because I never felt this need to change or suppress my views until I saw the reactions of potential partners. Some people I know struggle with their sexual interests all the time, and I feel like I'm starting to as well. I haven't been able to express myself in that way and it's making me feel embarrassed and angry. I don't know how to get people over this stigma of my personal interests. I'm not trying to convert people, just make those involved more comfortable consenting to it.
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