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DamarisPhoenix
334 M Embraced 3
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts27 Forum posts9 Forum upvotes12 Current upvotes12 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2018 Member sinceMarch 25, 2018
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I feel most alone when...
Depression Support / by DamarisPhoenix
Last post
 May 10th, 2018
...See more When my friends cant see my hurt. If they do, they chose to ignore it and dont want to talk about it. Ive tried reaching out but all my thoughts stop me and tell me no one cares or Im just being over dramatic and everything will be fine once I go to sleep and wake up the next day. I help others and listen very well, but sometimes its too much and I find myself to be the one broken and I dont have a single clue of what to do. I cant take my own advice and become a hypocrite when I do share advice to others. I havent found someone who makes me feel safe or someone I can fully trust. Someone who I can talk to at 2am and the vibe is just mellow.. I use to have that but all my insecurities built up from then and I believe they dont see me as the person they talked to a few years ago. I probably dont allow myself to create such relationships, but I want to and I dont know how without feeling judged or overwhelmed. And with social media promoting the idea of this is what a true best friend looks like.. with some stolen tumblr/insta post, it messes with my head if the friends I actually have are actual people that I can consider friends that will have my back through all the ups and downs. I just feel alone when Im at home, school, at social events, whenever Im surrounded by people who I dont have a connection with and where I would rather look down at my phone than thinking all the thoughts I have at that moment.
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