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ClothedInStrength2031
2,819 M Hopeful Heart 6
PathStep 200 Compassion hearts74 Forum posts83 Forum upvotes87 Current upvotes87 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2021 Member sinceFebruary 17, 2018
Bio
After 33 years of living in anxiety, severe codependency and denial I finally hit bottom and was overcome with depression and had to step out of life quitting 5 part time jobs and ministries working on reinventing myself. Learning to accept and work through my part of the challenges I have faced with the hope of overcoming them. Learning quilting and how to appreciate that I am valuable and matter to God; He is my sufficiency.
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EVEN THE DARKEST MORNINGS
Journals & Diaries / by ClothedInStrength2031
Last post
 September 9th, 2018
...See more For most, mornings are filled with welcome routine; wake up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee... check Siri for the weather & traffic... read their favorite tweets, post their latest adventures on Instagram... snap chat the hairstyle or outfit they chose for the day. As they head out to work or school, they revel in the luminous radiance that fills their mind with Carpe Diem; drinking in all the new day has to offer. Not for me. I dread the light. It penetrates my brain forcing me to feel the heaviness of reality. As my soul floods with fresh hopelessness I struggle to remain safely ensconced in unconsciousness. But I always feel I'll lose. The rays of light peer mockingly through my window… filling the room with torturous light as they dance with morbid victory along the wall. I shrink under the protective veil of my covers but the taunting laughter gets louder as the room fills with jeering illumination from which I cannot escape. And then they start. The sardonic voices. At first barely audible. My soul struggles to thwart the heinous sounds. But the agonizing cacophony overpowers my ever weakening spirit as I submit to their vicarious authority; losing more of myself to the talons of their subversive lies. Alone...I haven't the strength to fight. Consumed by in the dark abyss, I release myself to the smothering darkness of depression. Just at the moment when all seems lost, from somewhere deep within me, the power of the Holy Spirit begins to rise up. First, in a still soft voice, it whispers to me... Your Name is a light that the shadows cant deny Slowly increasing in authority and volume... Your Name cannot be overcome. Joined by tongues of Angels the steadfast voices reverberate in harmony reaching into the depths of mire and I feel the mighty force of His omnipotence lift me physically, emotionally, spiritually Your Name is alive, forever lifted high Your name And once more, the resounding veracity of His Spirit floods my being, As I feel my lips speak and I find my own voice joining in the Holy Proclamation of power speaking the only Name which can set me free... Jesus, Jesus You make the darkness tremble Jesus
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Can I get my life back?
Depression Support / by ClothedInStrength2031
Last post
 July 10th, 2018
...See more I've literally lost my life. I've stopped being able to "live"...in the sense that I am unable to function within the previous roles I had in my jobs so I had to quit all 5 of them (part time), my ministries (one I was in for over 20 years), and have alienated my family and friends. Hoping to use this site to get myself well enough to start living again.
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