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CircusMouse
325 M Embraced 3
photo by Ashley Howell on Redbubble
PathStep 6 Compassion hearts47 Forum posts33 Forum upvotes33 Current upvotes33 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2024 Member sinceNovember 4, 2023
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22. She/They. 

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CircusMouse entries ~ ☆
Journals & Diaries / by CircusMouse
Last post
 November 14th, 2023
...See more ╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮ Welcome! This is where I will be storing all  of my journal entries, goals, dreams, and  tragedies. Replies are welcomed, just be mindful of your words, please! ╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅──╯
how to combat lethargy??
20 & Over Community / by CircusMouse
Last post
 November 9th, 2023
...See more i'm going through a strange period right now. i'm in my early 20's. i'm in school currently (asynchronous online classes), and have been job hunting for about a month now with little results. my husband works full time. we're still new to this state; i've only been here for about a year now. he has a good support system and network of friends from work. i've met some of them and their families. they're nice, and i enjoy the little time i get with them. but i can't help but feel like they're his friends, not mine. we live off of the highway and i don't drive yet. so, i spend just about the whole day indoors. of course, that's my choice. i could always find time to go for a walk or go to the library, which is a 10 or so minute bike ride. lately, though, i find it difficult to organize my tasks, thoughts, and time. my day is basically the same everyday: wake up, hygiene, yoga flow if i feel up to it, clean the kitchen and living room, breakfast, attempt homework and do the bare minimum for that day. by then, my husband gets home. we'll run errands, come back, have dinner, hang out for the night. i know this isn't a bad day. i've lived through significantly worse and i feel very fortunate to have our own place and be able to afford to go run errands when we need to. yet, i just don't feel enthusiastic about anything right now. i feel so f-ing frustrated that the same chores pile up for me every morning. my husband does help on his day off, it isn't that he's inconsiderate. by nighttime, he's tired. and by nighttime, i feel so lethargic. i know if i wake up to a mess, the cycle continues. i feel the same dread for the same routine and it all snowballs. the answer is so simple, but it feels so difficult. in a perfect world, i would have a self care routine. i would do things that make me feel happy, even as simple as visiting a walking trail. it feels like i don't have time, even though i do. i don't know, i just can't seem to get out of this jaded funk. i'm not depressed. i do go through depressive episodes and this doesn't feel like it. it's weird. i'm not necessarily excited about life right now (though i do have a desire to live), but i'm not in a deep depression either. it also doesn't feel like i'm slipping any deeper. it's just this strange, stagnant fog that i've been struggling to get out of. some days, it's thinner, and some days, it feels crippling.  i'm not sure if we're allowed to ask for or offer advice here, but if anyone has any resources to help combat this kind of thing, i'd greatly appreciate. i also chose to put this one in this forum because something tells me that this is just a 20's phase that we all go through, maybe. if you made it this far, thanks for listening.
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