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Chris1572
497 M Embraced 4
PathStep 13 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts15 Forum upvotes20 Current upvotes20 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2019 Member sinceJanuary 18, 2015
Recent forum posts
so stuck and lonely
General Support / by Chris1572
Last post
 January 18th, 2015
...See more Hi I'm 20 years old and a sophomore in college. Ever since I was 5 years old I have been struggling with Lyme disease. Back then noone really knew how bad it could be or proper treatment. I don't remember much from my childhood just that my mom tells me I was always sick and traveling to different doctors. However I clearly remember from 7th grade on. In 7th grade I learned Lyme had spread to both sides of my brain. Hearing this news this young was heart breaking. I was put on 7 months of harsh iv antibiotics which made me really sick. All my friends would be hanging out and I would be stuck inside. I refused to ever let my picc line show at school it was always covered with long sleeves. I began to improve and brain scan showed the lyme was almost completely gone. My doctor agreed oral antibiotics would be used to kill the rest because my body was exhausted and I was so small. Things were good till I relapsed in sophomore-junior year of highschool. My brain scan was worst than the first one. This time I was put on 6 months of even harsher antibiotics. Keep in mind I did this all while still going to school. I would have all my classes in the morning and leave to drive an hour to my doctors sit there for 3 receiving my antibiotic then drive home an hour..5 days a week for 6 months this was my routine. It was both mentally and physically exhausting. I felt way better after the die off of the Lyme. I was finally back with my friends and applying to colleges. College was another story Lyme has given me horrible anxiety where I throw up from it. I struggled to make friends because I was so shy and I put up a wall. Plus I can't keep up with normal kids drinking kills my immune system and I end up sick. I joined a sorority too to try and make friends but I struggle to even do that. I've felt so lonely lately like I have no one and that no one cares. I would rather just lay in my bed all day then go out. It kills me that I never feel well and can't keep up. I am small at 5'1" and only 90lbs. I want to gain weight but nothing works. I could write a whole book on everything I have been through. I have never revealed to anyone my whole story. I keep it inside because I can't hold back my tears when I talk about how Lyme has affected my life. I'm at the point where I feel really depressed and am crying almost every night. It makes me feel better just writing this post thou
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