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CharlotteZ
1,745 M Hopeful Heart
PathStep 89 Compassion hearts46 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2024 Member sinceMarch 20, 2020
Recent forum posts
Husband moved out, and my mother doesn't even care about my grief.
Relationship Stress / by CharlotteZ
Last post
 May 19th, 2020
...See more He and I are still amazing friends, but I had asked him for more time, and to stay. He said he had to go, because he can't be the person he wants to be around me. It's been 9 years. The last few years we had to move back home with my mom, so I could finish college. Paid $700 a month to live with my mom. But a few days ago he moved out. And the day after he left, taking everything from the tv and the couch, to the shelves, my mother moved her (six) cat's litter box to where my couch sat, in my separate living room, and she took down things i had hanging on the walls. It hurt me. It was only the next day after he left. I told her I needed time before she moved her stuff into where he and I lived, in our living room, our dining room, but she got angry, and said i've had 8 months to get over this. When I tried to explain to her how I felt, how i've been crying everytime I walk out my bedroom door, she said i'm just lashing out at her and I have had plenty of time to get over it, that i've been seeing someone else so I shouldnt care anymore. But you can't get over 9 years. Not that quickly. Not the day after he left. She didnt even give me a day, and now I feel so alone, and so trapped, and I can't even leave my room without so much pain. I don't know what to do, I have no distractions. School is closed, my job is closed, I have nothing to do but sit in my room and cry.
It's time to move forward. TW: suicide-attempt, divorce.
Depression Support / by CharlotteZ
Last post
 March 20th, 2020
...See more It's time to move forward, but I don't know where to draw the line on moving forward but healing from the past. I have told less than 5 people, outside of this forum post, that last summer I attempted suicide, spent two days in the emergency room, and then was held the maximum three days against my will in a behavioral health clinic where all they did was ask me the same five questions twice a day then leave me alone the remainder. I don't know why I can't tell anyone. I haven't even told my dad, and we have an alright relationship. It doesn't feel real, it doesn't feel like I did that, or that it happened to me. I can't seem to tell anyone how my divorce is making me feel like every other problem I've ever had was a joke. It is making me feel more lost than I can ever imagine. Tomorrow, he is moving out, and I still feel so much love for him that I don't feel like I can handle looking at the desk he used to sit in, after he is gone. I have no idea how to handle it, when I can't even handle it in the present moment. I can't seem to do anything to fix that my boyfriend is not treating me well. That he love bombs me, and then the next day is controlling and obsessive to the point that I can't spend more than 20 minutes without contacting him and him not freaking out. That he can't do anything without me, and doesn't handle me doing anything without him well. That I know he is a liar, but he makes me feel like the person who isn't trusted. I don't know how to let things go, I don't know how to move forward, I don't know what to do. But I do know i'm looking forward to getting better. I know i'm looking forward to being the person I know I can be. I am excited for future me, who controls her environment better, who is more secure, who can handle the next thing. I just don't know how to become her.
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