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CarryOnAndLuggageBug
1,324 M Little Steps 4
PathStep 33 Compassion hearts31 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2017 Member sinceApril 17, 2015
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First World Problem
Depression Support / by CarryOnAndLuggageBug
Last post
 October 24th, 2015
...See more Im a high school senior who is about to turn in my early action college applications. Im here, thinking about all Ive been through these past three years: staying up late in the night to finish assignments, cramming information into my brain for the next test, fighting today for the promise of tomorrow. For the longest time I convinced myself that tomorrow will be better if I work hard today. Yet now, when colleges are an application away, when I am suppose to feel most connected to my future, I dont see a better tomorrow. Attending an Ivy league school with challenging courses? Lovely. Itll be like attending my overwhelming high school, except Ill feel more overwhelmed. Moving 600 miles away, leaving my friends, family, and romantic partner? Sweet, because thats the last thing I want to do. Then whats after college? I move another 500 miles away to find work? Work more, sacrifice more, until I die? I dont see the point. I dont see a point in lots of things. College, Marriage. Knowledge. Life. Its disgustingly ironic. I have everything that I wanted, but now I dont want anything. I used to care about my grades, but now that Im ranked number one in my class Ive realized that grades are not so exciting. I used to want wealth, but ever since my dad got a raise and my family became middle class, I realized money isnt that enjoyable. Sorry if Im rubbing it into everyones facing how great my life situation is. Anyway, so here I am pathetically complaining about how I have a wonderful life, but find no meaning in it. Im not need help immediately depressed. Most people on this site need help more than I do. Im more like… been depressed for one year, will probably recover in another year. I didnt want to talk about my feelings in real life, because that would break my reputation as a strong, emotionally stable girl. So here I am on 7cupsoftea, asking for compliments, compassion, criticism, or anything else to help me feel understood.
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