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CapnPika
248 M Embraced 2
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts38 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes17 Current upvotes17 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2023 Member sinceOctober 20, 2023
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Update.. Trauma.. Going through a hard time
Religion & Spirituality / by CapnPika
Last post
 July 8th, 2024
...See more I have been reading Qur'an and making Dua 5 times a day. I have a lot of good friends now that are Muslim. With events in the world though, myself and my friends have been getting threats of violence towards us and a lot of violent pictures and videos being thrown at us. It is really traumatic as someone with C-PTSD. I live in a really bad part of the world that is not accepting at all of Muslims.. If I ever chose to wear hijab I would be shot if I went in public. I am sorry to come out with all this on forums... I recently tried to reach out to a Listener but they tried to tell me to "look at what the bad part of the religion is" as a warning.. that killed me because I am already fearful of retaliation. I already have C-PTSD and a Panic Disorder + Agoraphobia..  I can't talk to my therapist either, she is conservative Christian (where I live.. they are.. once again not kind to Muslims). So I feel very trapped. I am disabled so I don't have the ability to search down a counselor that is friendly to Muslims as I only have Medicaid and Medicare.  I am not letting all this discourage me, it is just quite traumatizing.. I see now what kind of hatred people face in the world even more than I already did.. Every religion EVER has had bad things about it that have happened as a result of politics being mixed in with religion to further a political agenda.. I could really go off on this subject but I really don't want to trigger anyone anymore than I have. What I did realize is Islam is a religion of love, respect, kindness, compassion. People who are horrible to people because of their beliefs .... that's not okay at all. These bullies / trolls and others who push horrible stuff against the Muslim community do so so so much damage. I can't even trust anyone as a Listener now because I don't know at what point they'll start trying to "convert me" or say horrible things..
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Trying to Find Myself
Religion & Spirituality / by CapnPika
Last post
 November 20th, 2023
...See more Hello. First off I will preface that, I don't really know what I believe anymore. I come from a Christian background, but over the years I suffered very much because of beliefs that were imposed on me from a young age. I have studied many religions, many faiths. I could never find a home. Recently with many events in the world I have been studying Islam. Trying to understand it, take it in. All I want is a home. Acceptance. I am hurting but don't know where to turn. My question is.. has anyone here experienced something similar? I am drawn to Islam, I feel connected with what I am learning. I am fearful that I may never find a true home when it comes to trying to discover myself.. So much has been imposed on me I am trying to shed my "childhood" and the trauma. I want to heal.
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