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C4mR0N
1 1,322 M Little Steps 4
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts58 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes12 Current upvotes12 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2022 Member sinceJuly 24, 2022
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If someone has the patience
Addiction Support / by C4mR0N
Last post
 January 6th, 2023
...See more I’m lost, I feel like no matter how much I try to strive in life. There’s something worse waiting, it’s a chain of events that have weakend me and I am trying to find that reason to find myself again. I’ve now relapsed again and the whole time I was trying to stay clean I just couldn’t find enjoyment. I feel as if I’m at the point where I don’t feel anything anymore except more inevitable pain, I’m losing all empathy I’m distancing myself from everything in life I cared for, I’m permanently on meds because of a mental disorder I’ve now developed. Going from somebody who can’t talk to his mates about emotional things and just having a get over it attitude, in a work hard play hard environment (I’m a tradesman) always keeping face. Hiding the whole time that I have been getting crushed by my demons I refused to admit existed. Then I broke I feel like I’m watching everything through my eyes but I’m not really there. Getting high seems to be the only time I feel anymore so I use ice daily to make me feel in control, I don’t want to be this way and never thought I could. I need to find myself again but I think I’ve damaged my mind to much and it’s just hard accept that. So sorry for the rant it just all started coming I feel like I just needed to write some thoughts down, if anyone isn’t scared away I’ve got some more I wouldn’t mind talking about. Thanks for your time and I hope everyone is safe:-)
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I can’t remember another way
Alcohol & Drug Addiction Support / by C4mR0N
Last post
 August 29th, 2022
...See more im 22 years old in aus, I started as a good kid with a bit of a rough start but was always raised to at least be kind, it hated my father growing up and no longer see him. I have had severe mental struggles for as long as I can remember and I’ve never revealed my emotions to anyone because I never wanted to seem like I wanted attention or to put people out. I’ve always had a lot of friends despite my anxiety and my self loathing I can’t shake. I started using drugs at 15 and started drinking alot and I loved it, quickly it became the thing I looked forward to most, started skipping school to see my girlfriend and smoke weed I didn’t even care anymore, I’ve worked my way up over the years to the point I use ice everyday. I’ve become cold to life a don’t feel joy like I used to and everyday is starting to feel like a dream, and I distance myself more and more from everything except work, which is what inspired me to start using meth as it illuminates fatigue and makes me more focused. I know I need to stop but I kinda just don’t want too
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