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BenjaminLee23
4,146 M Seeking Light 4
PathStep 133 Compassion hearts256 Forum posts77 Forum upvotes69 Current upvotes69 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2022 Member sinceJune 26, 2020
Bio

I'm Ben! Cyber security sophomore interested in revolutionizing local education.

Early 2000s kid who misses the happy place.

One who struggles with anxiety and coping with undiagnosed autism.

A hermit who geeks on various things. Keeps me thinkin'!

Please treat me well ^^



Recent forum posts
Study Hours - Pandemic Edition
Student Support / by BenjaminLee23
Last post
 July 15th, 2020
...See more Note: I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but here I go! Extra note: Some of these things don't apply to some of y'all, but just keep reading and maybe give our your own opinions from your perspective ^^ highly appreciated! -- Some lil' background - I'm a computer science student in my final year of secondary school (in case if y'all don't know, secondary education is the last stage of mandatory education in Malaysia and some other countries out there) and I am forced into taking pure science subjects as well, such as chemistry and physics (smh). After negotiating with my teachers, I'm now allowed to only attend school on days where I'm able to due to transportation and health issues, so I'm mostly self-studying at home now. Aight, on to the main part: For most people, there are six to seven hours of school per five days in a week - that's around 35 hours of school every week. In a smaller scale, in our 24 hours a day, we have roughly nine hours of not-school (assuming people take the ideal sleeping hours of eight). Nine hours, okay. Probably gotta do some homework and other school projects, so maybe we have a lil' less than nine hours wholly to ourselves? In the case of not being at school for the whole day (whether you're unable to attend school for a valid reason or it is during the weekends), you kinda have the ability to control and manage your time better. Especially these days during the pandemic, we're all... uh, basically stuck at home for most of the time, anyway. For students who function better at home, this is probably one of the most miraculous opportunities, like, in all school years ever. Finally we can apply all the self-study tips we've been reading and watching a lot from YouTube, right? Finally we can make prettier notes and we can snack up while studying without any teacher eyeing you for once! (Hey, we gotta see the silver lining during these dark times, ya know. It's for mental health.) But now that we're not bound to school schedules and pretty much have the most control of our hours in a day... what will our study hours look like? I've been thinking about this for a while now. Instead of only having nine hours worth of control with seven of them spent at school, we now have probably up to 16 hours at home to ourselves - we wouldn't wanna spend seven hours of studying at home too, right? That'll just end up like any other school day (and that kinda sucks if I do say so myself) Some people have it that 10 hours is the ideal period of study time; which is, for a lot of people, the near equivalent to hell. Some people have it that you only need around four hours of productive and efficient studying a day. That's pretty cool ngl, but I'm sure for some, it's a little too short to get anything done at all. I myself tried different lengths of time for self-studying at home, given resources online and ones provided by the teachers through email etc.. I'll probably end up revising my study hours forever, but I'm kinda working well with more or less than five hours a day. In those five hours, I'd only study up to two subjects, and make as much progress as possible. I just study lots and lots until I get a lil' tired or hungry, then I take breaks. I'd then log the time into my planner for some future tweaking in my schedule. There are also days where I don't study at all! Since I study in the weekends too, every day is as though a weekday so I can take any one of them and make it an "away from the books" day. In itself, I don't engange in any studying at all and just spend it with doing my hobbies, binging videos, sleeping, eating properly and so much more. I can even do... nothing? Yeah, just simply lazing around throughout the whole day. Of course, the amount of time I spend releasing steam depends on the intensity of my study hours. I'd say, though, that my ratio of time spent is surprisingly a 1:1, making my days balanced in the end. This way, I can actually feel productive for once yet still be able to enjoy my days. Finally, people can be different - other students could have things differently when it comes to their study hours and the intensity of their hours. How many study hours do you spend in a day? And what is your time ratio? I'd like to hear your opinions and ways of studying, too! Maybe we can take away a few great tips? Thank you for your attention! (I apologize for these whack-long paragraphs) Have a great day >.<
Expressing My Thoughts When I'm Bad at Words
Anxiety Support / by BenjaminLee23
Last post
 June 29th, 2020
...See more || English is my first language and my mind language at that, but for some reason, I can't express myself well. ... I don't normally talk about my issues because it is seen as a discomfort towards the people around me. Not that they're unkind, but I really do feel that I shouldn't be talking about my struggles with them. For that reason, I came here - hoping that some random people online could lend an ear and listen to what I have to say. But... suddenly I'm out of words? The image is clear in my mind, but I can't explain it to others accurately- actually, not even close to it. Surely I have to learn up more vocabulary or something (gosh it's never-ending, huh) but even if I become a word bank, will those words really help describe my emotions and struggles? I'm more of a left-brainer, but I do art as a hobby. During my earlier days of journaling and drawing, I wanted them to look pretty, neat, and close to perfect. Last month, however, I got into a slump. A dark somethin' started sucking me in, and it was suffocating. I kept on sweating for many days, even when the weather was not so warm. I thought "What did I want to do with journaling and art? Did I really just pick these up just for fun? What really made me start these?" I decided to let go of all expectations and listened to myself. Journaling is kinda like expressing your thoughts, right? It's to document your life and surroundings? I took it that way. Now even though I don't journal as often as before, when I really do feel like it, I start making the spread - and finishing it right away. In a way, I'm using pictures as "reference" for my emotions, colors to guide my eyes, and different kinds of scrap material to separate my thoughts. Suddenly, I saw what was then inside my mind out on paper. (chills) I COULD express myself after all! Even with art, I thought of all the "perfect" fully-colored and well-composed illustrations all around me. Gosh, pressuring... I also didn't know where to go with my art, since it was just a hobby and I didn't want to go that much further with it. One day, however, I stumbled across a Korean video about "croquis". I didn't know why I was drawn to it, but heck I watched it til' the end. I felt... mesmerized? Chommang's art was simple, but full of emotions. His lines looked like he didn't bother to erase any little mistake. At times, I could clearly see that some lines didn't look exactly like what was in the reference photo, but it had the same vibes nonetheless? Then he said something like this: "Just draw how you feel like it. Let it flow freely. Don't think about it. If you want to correct something, you can allow yourself to erase it a bit. Correct it. Then continue to let it flow." What an eye-opener! Not just art-wise, but those words really hit me! Maybe this is how I should live life? I should not think about it and let it flow. If something's wrong, it's okay for me to erase things a bit. I can correct things. Afterwards, I should continue with the flow... Of course after all that, my art has changed significantly! Just like how I want to live life, my lines may overlap. I may or may not erase my sketch marks, because maybe sometimes the sketch marks make it prettier. Just like with words, I'm not that good with colors. But even using monochrome messy line shading does a better job of expressing myself. Who knew? Suddenly, life seemed a little more beautiful, and I could appreciate it more. These were what I went through for the past couple of weeks (or even months). My anxiety hasn't disappeared completely, but it lessened. I try to remind myself constantly that it's okay to stop for a bit and fix up what's not right, and then continue on my journey through life. I hope I'm able to describe and express things better in any form and, maybe with this capability, I'm able to help others who go through the same? The rest is in God's hands. While I have hope for the better and best that He has decided for me, I'll also work hard on my part and be a better me until I'm the best me I can be! ^^ -end- If you guys have gone through something similar, mind sharing your stories? :D
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