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AweTsela
428 M Embraced 3
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts28 Forum posts9 Forum upvotes16 Current upvotes16 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2020 Member sinceJuly 17, 2019
Bio
I'm Tsela and I'm two-spirit. I use they/them.
Recent forum posts
Chronic illness and death
Disability Support / by AweTsela
Last post
 September 4th, 2019
...See more I'm going to start this by saying I'm not suicidal, that's important. I've been up thinking about death and how uncertain I am of how long I have to live. I'm 19, I have a super long list of things wrong with me, but I'm not actively dying. I have many conditions that could spontaneously cause me to become that way though. I am terrified of dying, where a year ago I wasnt. I embraced the fact I could die any day. but now I'm happy and I want to live and I worry that any day could be my last. there's so much I want to do and so many people for me to meet and love and be affected by. I don't know how to come to terms with it again. I don't want my family, friends, or partners to think about me dying but the reality is that it could happen at any time. will I see it coming? will I have time to say goodbye and tell them I love them? will I know when I go? how much time do I have to do everything I need to do, to love everyone I need to love? I want to act like I have all the time in the world but I can't help but worry every day is my last.
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