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ApricotKitten
183 M Embraced 1
PathStep 10 Compassion hearts12 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2021 Member sinceSeptember 10, 2021
Recent forum posts
Life is going too fast
Newbie Hub / by ApricotKitten
Last post
 September 11th, 2021
...See more I feel like such a massive failure at the moment. I'm a streamer but having to currently take time away again, due to my anxiety. As others seem to rise to the top and grow their communities mine remains stagnant because of my mental health issues. It's hard not to feel defeated as I'm denied from opportunities. I'm struggling with my day job at the moment & struggling with motivation to keep up with my hobbies as they bring me no enjoyment anymore. Just don't know where I'm going with my life honestly. I can't even visit the gym currently and pour out my frustration because my heart is racing before I even leave the door. The more the anxiety stays, the worse I feel and it turns into depression. I'm 30 and all my friends have savings and their first home. I have no savings because my income is crap and I'm substadising a shitty wage with sex work. I'm slowly paying off my debt with the second job but it's very slow and I'm worried I'm never gonna be able to save for my own house. There's so much to worry about and I wish life would simply slow down. It's also not easy to leave my current job because it allows me to work from home which is important to me.
Feeling like I've failed
Anxiety Support / by ApricotKitten
Last post
 September 11th, 2021
...See more I see so many around me succeeding and doing great. At 30 I am working 2 jobs to pay off my debt and pay my rent, and on a strict budget to ensure I meet my goals. I want to start saving for a house deposit one day. It just feels like I'll never get there. I have had to give up streaming and going to the gym because of my anxiety, it's gotten so bad and I'm feeling worse because of how many others are succeeding and doing well for themselves. I have been crying often. I just can't get out of this rut and don't even want to leave the house anymore. My motivation for the things I used to enjoy is at 0 and I don't know how to get me back again.
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