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Alwayshungry983
2,043 M Hopeful Heart 2
PathStep 29 Compassion hearts74 Forum posts105 Forum upvotes193 Current upvotes193 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2024 Member sinceJuly 28, 2019
Recent forum posts
Military Girlfriend struggling with uncertainty
Relationship Stress / by Alwayshungry983
Last post
 July 10th, 2023
...See more For context, I have been with my boyfriend for 1 year and he just got out of bootcamp after being gone for 3 months. He is now an official Marine going into the reserves. He's going to be gone again but will have his phone on him and he said he will be there for me no matter what. When I think about the future it does motivate me to keep going and I love the way he is. I think I am struggling to process when he first left and how to feel comfortable with the new him. Does anyone have any advice or experience to help? I've already talked to him about this and he said he would comfort me if needed but that I will adapt because I'm strong. It's just hard to get used to him having other priorities, but I'm super happy he is following his dream.
I feel like I am giving up hope (TW violence and
Trauma Support / by Alwayshungry983
Last post
 July 14th, 2023
...See more I have a boyfriend that is in boot camp right now and I have a history of trauma from having an abusive military father. My boyfriend before he reported to boot camp is such a sweetheart and incredibly loving but passionate about his dream to be in the marine. I was sending him encouraging letters until I received a letter from him saying that his drill instructor forced the other recruits to beat him up, he says that it has gotten so bad that the Navy medical personnel have to intervene. I can't help but feel scared for his safety and I never wanted him to get this hurt, he said he is "doing it for us" but I do not want him to go through *** for us. I regret letting him go and I just don't feel the same. I still support him no matter what but I am afraid of him coming back.
Is it normal for me to feel guilty about existing?
Trauma Support / by Alwayshungry983
Last post
 November 10th, 2021
...See more Sometimes I feel bad about my friends, even though they seem to really like my company, I feel bad for making them tolerate me. I feel bad about them having met me
A vent about home life
Anxiety Support / by Alwayshungry983
Last post
 December 7th, 2020
...See more I should be grateful for what I have and I am. The things are there are things that just bother me. I don't like that I'm so in my head all the time. I see people but I don't see them. I realize they are there but question "oh they are my brother and sister?". I know who they are and everything but for some reason, I feel like sometimes I've been on autopilot for too long. It's weird. I just am tired of faking the love I feel for my dad. I mean.. I'm not trying to fake it but lately, my dad asks me for kisses on the cheek and I give it to him but it feels like a chore, I don't actually feel anything. He's an alcoholic and still makes me uncomfortable when he's drunk. I think he's so much better when he isn't drunk. I don't like the loss of motivation for doing schoolwork that I get when I overhear conflict between my mom and dad. I want to cry or make myself cry to feel something idk. I don't like feeling like nothing. I feel like I'm in limbo, I'm not happy right now but I'm not depressed. I'm just down and don't want to talk to anyone or interact for now. sometimes I really like being alone.. but then feel lonely.
Am i overthinking? Sorry if im not making sense I think im ruminating.
Relationship Stress / by Alwayshungry983
Last post
 August 7th, 2020
...See more So I have this really sweet friend and we don't really text often. Maybe like once a month but when he does she's really sweet with me and says she loves me. She lives in a different state than me but I just wonder how can I tell if she actually loves me though? I don't know sometimes I then to overthink and afraid that I will scare her off. I told her about my depression and how I was afraid of scaring her off and she said "You will never scare me off!" but from time to time I just try not to think about it. Maybe I'm being dramatic. If you want to know how we met the story is down here (It was at a leadership camp) ((to hide her identity ima call her holly)) So at this camp holly was part of my group and at the end of each day at the camp, we would open up about our life experiences and during one of these times I opened up about my abusive childhood (I even started crying and felt embarrassed) and everyone was very supportive. Later I went back to this camp room and Holly looked and me and said "I adore you" and I couldn't believe I heard that from someone.... it was a sweetness I've never felt before. She even comforted me at the camp when I cried at one of the life experiences events. Once when we were dancing she said she loves me and even to this day we text back and forth and she seems like she really cares for me and I do too for her and I'm starting to really love her a lot (not in a romantic way). The thing is I'm afraid of getting attached or if its all too good to be true. she says "I love you" all the time to me and I say it back but sometimes I'm afraid I'm being too clingy when I say "I love you" to someone. I just get so scared of opening up and fear of abandonment
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