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AdamEmb
1 7,465 M Moving Along 6
PathStep 32 Compassion hearts648 Forum posts15 Forum upvotes20 Current upvotes20 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2024 Member sinceJanuary 4, 2018
Bio
I'm just a guy full of anxiety.
Recent forum posts
Addiction with donating money
Addiction Support / by AdamEmb
Last post
 May 5th, 2019
...See more So for about 6 years now I've had a real big issue with money. I make really good money but have nothing to show for it. I don't even use it on myself (for the most part). I had a huge with with health anxiety from a ton of physical symptoms that kept me inside. So I was bored and started going to sites that at least had some people on them just so I can keep being somewhat social. Found some broadcaster streams playing games and such and just enjoying my time for a bit. I was watching one streamer while he was having a small meltdown worried about bills and such. So I figured I'd help him out. I threw $200 at them and I haven't seen some cry so hard over that EVER. They were just shocked. It made me feel insanely good inside. That's where it all started. I just found myself jumping around to random broadcasters who I enjoyed and just drop bombs on their channel. It turned into an addiction. I was always feeling so low and now I found something that made me feel so good inside. Helping people who really needed it. But now with this addiction I've maxed out 3 credit cards with decent credit lines and I'm struggling with just keeping up with bills. I shouldn't even be close to this position for what I make at my job. I know I might have to just leave but now I have a lot of good friends out of the deal also (ones that I haven't even helped out in years. Not the ones that wanna be my friend in hopes for more money, haha.) Now I see these maxed out credit cards and even if I stopped with the donations it's still going to take me like 2 years to pay them off. So I look at that number, feeling that's too long and get discouraged. How do I snap out of this? Or do I need to just leave that community all together? Things I've already tried bt maybe didn't try hard enough. • Created a new checking account and after each paycheck I have it auto transfer some money in there strictly for spending only. But found that it was too each to just transfer more money into it manually afraid I'll overdraft and have to pay the bank more money. • Put the credit cards in my safe.. Even put it in a block of ice. But then I really need it for some unexpected charges (truck breaks down, home appliances) • Deleted the credit cards from my PayPal. • Cut up a couple of them to never be able to use but I find I'm just sticking to the minimum payments on those since I can't access them anymore. I think I need someone to just slap some sense into me. I always worry that something bad with happen to me and now my Mom is stuck with MY mess. That's not fair to anybody. Thanks!
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