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1Lotusflower
420 M Embraced 3
PathStep 16 Compassion hearts18 Forum posts27 Forum upvotes36 Current upvotes36 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2019 Member sinceJuly 7, 2018
Recent forum posts
Roots and all
Relationship Stress / by 1Lotusflower
Last post
 July 13th, 2018
...See more I appreciate you guys soooooo much! I joined a few days ago arriving as one big emotional mess due to a bizarre break up -and now I can actually see better things ahead for me and smile. i shared with you a few days back the whole Scenario so long story short this guy flipped out when I asked about his mood then told me to leave etc. anyway pretty ridiculous I am realizing . Its been about a week since the breakup. Despite feeling better as each day that goes by. But guys I guys I also have been experiencing this thing on occasion Of just needing to pull up and cut every plant in the front yard garden i designed for him per his request. We ended up planting that front yard garden together no more than 4 days prior to the his fit of anger kind of performance where i ended up driving away and we broke up of course. The thing is when I say need its more like the momentum of driven or must do this leave behind a big ugly mess of dirt and upturned rooted plants for him to find so he will just have to replant all by himself. This is no good I know. Guys i dont think I have ever felt rage before -kinda freaks myself out -but I think this is what it is. I feel ashamed of all this yet on the same note would start pulling if I was right in front of that garden without a second thought. This is shameful to admit to you. Thank you for being here ❤️.
Feel numb how rise above this?
Relationship Stress / by 1Lotusflower
Last post
 July 9th, 2018
...See more Thanks for the positive energy here today. This is the first time posting on 7cups. I had to be proud of myself today for showing up for life because I feel like a shattered mess on the floor. I am meeting my responsibilities today but I am totally not there if you know what I mean? The guy I was seeing- which we practically lived together- emotionally flipped on me this past Sunday when out I asked him about his mood-it was weird mood. Since he was showing such crazy behavior I went to my car to leave and give him space -no angry words at my end. Yet before I leave, he comes out with the few things I had at the house, took my garage remote and asked me to leave. I had never seen this fire in his eyes before-it looked like pain and anger. Anyway, he went radio silent since then. I have no clue what brought this on. Weird. We were very close by the way. i dont know why I feel as I do -like a mess and my heart hurts so bad I can even describe it. Feels like I got run over by a train. I feel Betrayed, disregarded and pretty must lost. I live in a new city so my support system stinks. How does one get on with their life when something like this happens? Thank you you for letting me share -I really dont share much about my life generally -so thanks for creating a safe place I feel I can.
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