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Rules of Engagement
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(Updated December 3, 2015 by Jake; Updated August 28, 2022 by theriverissinging)
@Laura ,
I solemnly agree all rules and regulations of engagement of 7 Cups. I will adhere to give positive posts and authentic responses to those whom I listen to, to whom I engage with, and to not only all my new community members in 7 Cups, but for everyone I come in contact with daily. I promise to maintain respect for every individual I come in contact with as a member of 7 Cups. I promise to give insight, understanding, patience and thoughtfulness. I promise, where I can be a benefit to, I will be there. As in these promises, I take the oath to be a member adhereing to all rules, regulations and moral support that is required. I will help make humnity a better place to all the best of my ability.
signed://Lucille// Date: 11/29/16
@Lucilleball
could not agree with you more, you can see from just entering this community that it is important and i want to value that and honour it.
@Laura i swear to uphold the rules and stipulations of 7cups and uphold them to there fullest extent
Thank you Laura! Yes, welcome everyone. I'm looking forward to getting to know all of you better.
@GlenM
How come you don't answer my calls? (LoL/Jk)
I've been a member of the 7 Cups community for a year now. Just wanted to use this opportunity to say Hello to the Man himself. Keep up the Good work! 👍
i guess that should be ok till you can avoid bringing up any kind of conflict situation! just be a little cautious on your part so as to nothurt anyone's sentiment or downplay any particular religion.. in any case, the true religion is humanity!:)
@ianWithaT
That is correct! It is not allowed to share personal information/social media details with anyone on 7cups.
I'm sorry to tell you this, but a member presently cannot, as far as I know, engage in 1 on 1 conversation with another member.
Hey @Swayam, sorry to hear about your member account. :(
Feel free to email community@7cups.com to get through to Laura directly. It may have been a mistake, and at the very least, you two can talk it out and see what happened. Keep in mind listeners do have the ability to ban members, so honestly it may have been a misunderstanding.
the relationship between a listener and a member should be professional at all times.
I feel like this could be easily fixed if members were able to PM each other. I know several people who made a member account just to be able to message their friends. I mean a lot of people make friends in the rooms, so why not allow them to PM each other? Just a thought.
I totally agree with Laura. The relationship between a Listener and a Caller should be strictly professional at all times.
i believe discussions should be proffesional one day, then the next day, fun , depends 
I think that should be totally fine. We all started out somewhere..
@Harleen98, please PM or mail Laura about the user. Thank you :)
Thanks :) , I was just thinking that what if the site prevents users to keep swear words in their username?
Absolutely! There's really nothing wrong with making friends in here with people you can talk to and who understand you.
My opinion:
I thought that part of the original agreement for Listeners and Members at 7Cups is that we agree to abide by the rules set up here, right? Maybe it's time we re-read that agreement. We are in no position to decide for ourselves whether or not we have the right to make friends with those we "listen" to. It's already decided by the people who set up 7Cups. We all agreed to it. End of story.
So-called "professionalism" needs to be defined for those who do not understand the term and how it is used in the field of psychology. It means that we cannot become "friends" with those we listen to because doing so sets up a "dual relationship." As Listeners, we are expected to "attend" the Member's story and lingering pain, offer support and encouragement, and connect them with additional resources should the need arise. This is NOT reciprocal. The Member is not here to hear our stories and comfort our pain. Sure, we may relate a few details about ourselves especially if doing so helps a Member feel accepted and understood, but this should be used very sparingly. A listening session needs to be about the Member, not the Listener.
Friendships ARE reciprocal. The relationship between a Listener and a Member seeking help is not! If this is not the case, then why establish two different titles here? Why not do away with the title of ?Listener? and make everyone simply a ?Member? with the ability to send private messages to one another? But no, this site clearly defines the difference between Listener and Member. Listeners have responsibilities that Members do not have.
I know there is a lot of confusion about this issue in the chat rooms. I see Listeners in the chatrooms talking about personal issues, relating their painful stories and eliciting the attention of the members on a daily bases. It?s almost as if Listener accounts are created only because it allows the person to send private messages. If Listeners need to talk about personal stuff, they could PM another Listener, right? They can ask for help within the community established in support of Listeners.
If we cannot maintain a strong boundary between Listeners and Members, the site becomes merely another internet chatroom, and we all know what those are like.
Personally, it would make me more uncomfortable if it was totally one way. At least some listeners were members first, so I think it's fine if they still use the site in the way a member would, as long as they're not excessively derailing their sessions as a listener with their own problems (I say 'excessively' because I do think it's fine for listeners to mention their own experiences as a way of showing they understand what the member is going through, particularly with certain problems. Some of my best chats have been with listeners with the same disability as me. They 'get' it in a way it's impossible for someone without the condition to do). That way, there is still a divide between when they're acting in their 'professional' role as a listener, and when they're simply acting as a member. I don't think the fact their account is a Listener one undermines that divide at all, because really the divide is more situational than based purely on account type anyway.
I also feel it's positive, because it shows listeners not as simply coldly professional, but as human, with their own problems and experiences that means they can truly relate to members. Even psychologists do try to establish a rapport with patients, and will mention and discuss their own experiences on occasion (trust me on that one, I've seen a lot of psychologists, haha).
It won't become just another internet chatroom as long as it's still used for the purpose it was intended, support with mental illness and with problems.
I concur withEverPalm. I thought the listeners here would be more matured. Rather, I'm getting people who simply reply "I see." and go offline. I just spilled my guts to your anonymous face. If I wanted to talk to someone disinterested in what my issues are, I would go to my friends and family. Thanks for making me feel like shit, that listener who couldn't be bothered.
I agree with you. As a listener, I always try to maintain a professional and calm demeanor and "appearance," but at the same time I talk to the members as if I'm having a regular conversation with someone. You know, in a way that makes members feel that there is someone who is listening to them. I do use phrases such as "I see" or "I understand," but I always follow it up with something that is, for a lack of a better word, natural. I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's definitely a must to be professional, but that doesn't mean that you have be as straight and flat as a board. People come here to basically pour their feelings out. The least the we listeners can do is make them feel that there is a person at the other end of the chat. Also, for members and guests, if at any point during the conversation you feel that we listeners are being too casual, say something.
I strongly disagree that one needs to be a psychologist to know what professionalism is.
It may vary on the context, but it's pretty insulting IMO to say that no one else knows what it is.
@WolfGod I'm sorry you feel you were unfairly muted, and I'd encourage you in the future to email support@7cups.com about your concerns to get it all sorted out -- in the future, please refrain from sharing the names of members, listeners, and details of anything said in the chatrooms or in private chats as it is against 7 Cups privacy policy. Thanks!