Teen Listener Discussion Notes: Meeting Others

Last week, @Melallyouneedislove and I lead a discussion for Friendship Week on the subject of meeting others and forming friendships. It was a lovely hour, thank you so much to all who attended.

✰ Our objectives were: ✰

✴ To understand why friends are important

✴ To try to see what might stop someone from making new friends

✴ To discuss ways to meet new people

✰ Why do you think having good friends is important? ✰

We agreed that friends play a large part of our emotional support network; they help comfort you and make you feel safe, as well as help add perspective to your struggles.

''Having good friends its important cause then you have a support system, plus if they are close they know everything you go trough and you can get different opinions on your situation and see different points of view'' - @ViataEVerde

''Having people to show you another way of looking at things without the fear of being judged is definitely important for me personally'' - @Celia2106

✰ What are the benefits of friendships? ✰

Having close friends makes you feel happier and more supported, and generally puts you in a good place

''Boost your happiness and reduce your stress. Improve your self-confidence and self-worth. Increase your sense of belonging and purpose. Have people you can trust and be around happily'' - @KeananWillListen

''Confidence, sense of self, belonging, sense of place in society emotional release and stability'' - @Sarah

✰ What does the word ‘friendship mean to you? ✰

We decided that true friendship couldnt be quantified, as it consisted of boundless love and trust

''To me the word friendship doesn't even need to exist because if you are truly someone's friend you would know it and not need to be labelled as such'' - @KeananWillListen

''Friendship is a valued person in my life, it means unconditional love, trust andrespect. Knowing I'm never alone and part of a social structure that I can rely on and feel secure within'' – @Sarah

✰ What qualities do you look for in a friend? ✰

We came up with a very long list, the most common of which were: trustworthiness, reliability, respect, fun, honesty and a deep appreciation for Disney.

✰ When you first meet someone, how do you work out if theyre someone you want to be friends with or not? ✰

This was a contentious topic, as we felt that there was no one model for what a good friend should be, or how a friendship developed. Some of us felt that good friends would ‘click immediately, and that you just know when you have found someone you can be good friends with, whereas others thought that it was impossible to tell at first, and that a friendship needs time. On the whole, we thought that it was best to be open when meeting new people, and not to judge quickly.

''When you meet someone, there should be a click. That's for instant friends at least. But sometimes that click comes some time later, like even years after you first met. But the click is important'' - @ViataEVerde

''I think you have to be open minded and non judgemental when first meeting people, any first meeting has the potential for friendship'' - @Sarah

✰ What factors might prevent you from developing the friendships you want? ✰

We came up with a list of qualities that would stop us wanting to become friends with someone (such as untrustworthiness and lack of respect), then moved onto talking how we could overcome those. The best way we could think of was to really get to know others, not to just judge them by first impression, and to give everyone a chance, as the best friendships take time and patience to cultivate.

✰ What do we think of these famous friendships? ✰

We then discussed the friendships between certain people (sadly, time constraints prevented us from analysing the success of the power duo that is @Heather and @Laura )

Harry and Ron (Harry Potter) – Even though they went through a lot of bad times, experiences and haircuts, they looked out for each other and didnt allow Harrys fame and constant running into danger to get in the way.

''Well, Harry and Ron is a good example of a friendship because although they may have had their bad times they were always able to put it past them and grow together and look out for each other'' - @KeananWillListen

''But there was that bit in the fifth one where Harry got smug and Ron got jealous'' - @Lyra

''Ron and Harry = bad points. There was a lot of peer pressure and an expectation that their friends should compromise their personal safety to help with random missions'' - @Sarah

✰ What would you say are some tips to be more friendly and social? ✰

We agreed that being happy and outgoing helped a lot when making new friends, but then we started to discuss the extent to which you should pretend to be more outgoing than you naturally are, as it may result in friendships formed that perhaps would not have happened had you been yourself. Showing interest in others and asking engaging questions also helps a lot.

''Smile! Be kind, nice, say funny things and try to not look awkward'' - @Resisti

✰ Is it easier to meet people online than out of it? What could be the dangers of these friendships? ✰

As a bunch of 16 and 17 year olds, we were all pretty well versed in stranger danger, as you can never be sure that someone is who they say they are, and lack of face to face interaction, but forming friendships online gives you a chance to get to know a wider range of people than youd otherwise interact with.

✰ Participating ✰

@Ace13 @Celia2106 @annab123 @Rhea753 @MayaRainbow2 @peachkatie12 @KeananWillListen @Sarah @Asunder @skittlegarden @Resisti @Nina007 @Liz1000

✰ CC ✰

@QuickJazz @Lynnie

​(If this was the first discussion that you attended, please take the time to nominate yourself for the Aristotle badge, which you can do by going to the My Impact page, and then pressing 'Apply for special badges', below your list of badges)