A Note on Triggers in Group Support
Hello Lovely People of 7 Cups,
I hope you're all having a wonderful day! I'm posting today as I've noticed a few issues with triggers in the group support rooms lately, particularly on the teen side.
Being triggered is an awful feeling and it's not something we want you to experience in our support rooms, or at all in your lives! The tricky thing about triggers is that something could trigger one person badly, yet not bother another person in the slightest. Its not always possible to predict this. Additionally, it can be frustrating for members if they are prevented from discussing an issue theyre comfortable with, for the sake of a person who may or may not be triggered and who may or may not be there.
When group support was very shiny and new, we did try to moderate triggers. What happened? It became almost impossible to have any conversation at all. So many people were triggered by so many different things, the flow of discussion was interrupted and many people were unable to talk about what was on their minds. It just didn't work for the whole room to avoid a topic for the sake of one person. For this reason, we introduced the following rule:
Rule #4 - If you are overwhelmed, anxious, or do not feel that the group support environment is aiding in your personal healing, please visit our Browse Listeners page to connect with a Listener one-on-one.
Additionally, we have a rule in place to prevent people from using inappropriate or graphic language, so you can expect topics or language that is upsetting for lots of people to be removed and a warning sent to that person. But for the most part, triggers come down to personal responsibility and you are expected to manage your own experience in the support rooms.
☆ If you find you are easily triggered by many things, group support may not be a good fit for you. In that case, we'd recommend you stick to 1-1 chat, the forum or growth path for support.
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Here's what you can do if you're feeling triggered by something in a chat room:
♥ Mute the person who is triggering you.
♥ Take a short break from the room and try out a mindfulness exercise.
♥ Take a short break from the room and do something you love - go for a walk, listen to music, phone a friend, take a bath etc.
♥ Connect 1-1 with a listener to talk through your feelings.
Excellent post, thank you for taking the time to write this. I hope this brings some awareness on how to handle ourselves and situations when we become triggered in the group support rooms.
@Heather
Thanks for posting this! I see this happening is several different rooms, by all types of oarticipants from members to mods. Hopefully this will help and remind!
Well, please note that some people use "I'm triggered" in a joking manner, sadly...
@Phthalo
You're right, that does happen at times. We will just have to treat it like we would anyone else who is triggerd. :)
@Heather This is a great solution to the problem at hand! It informs members of alternatives to letting their triggers bother them. It can be hard to get away from a trigger when it's right in front of you. Sometimes, we need to be reminded that there are things we can do to prevent the anxiety and upset feelings triggers may cause!
@Heather
Heather, thank you so much for putting this post together. I really do appreciate it and I hope all who've felt triggered will read it as I feel it was put together well. You've stated the problem and given some ideas on how to solve it (and how it was worked on in the past).
Even me, on the adult side, I appreciate this... a lot.
Platy
@Heather is there a reason the unmute button was removed? We're often told to mute someone, but then if the topic changes it's a hassle to now unmute them.
@AffyAvo @Heather
It is there, the top right of the chat window, looks like a microphone. I wish we could unmuute individules without unmuting everyone.
@energeticCircle9867
Thank you!!! I can't believe I didn't notice that before.
thank you very much for this post :) personally, i haven't had too great experiences in groups chat because there weren't only triggers but also quite a few rude people which made me quite upset because i hoped for everybody to be nice and kind on here. Fortunately there are many supportive people here but I have also noticed some people I'd like to address as as "trolls", since they only seem to contribute bad content to group chats and make others feel bad. I don't want to generalize it, but i thought this would be a chance to address that topic, while talking about triggers. others than that, again: thank you for this post and I am very thankful for this website to exist and I'm very thankful for the listener one-on-one support.
It never occured to me I could possibly be triggered by posts of others, even though I am currently stable. I have bipolar disorder and already made a list of possible triggers to watch for. Thank you so much for the head's up.
@Heather this sounds like a balanced approach to the situation with triggering. The burden is on the person commenting to respect other's right to a safe place to chat and the person who is listening to do what is necessary to keep themselves from being emotionally overwhelmed.
I was in a situation where several individuals were hijacking the chat and making a discussion difficult. Their comments did not seem to be outright inappropriate but I was wondering if the discussion leader should do more to protect the atmosphere of the chat discussion by limiting extraneous chatter not related to the discussion. Anyway, what I did is Mute those members that were interrupting the chat and suddenly the room became normally quiet with posts relevant to the discussion only. Mute does nothing to the other person (unlike reporting that might be better on a separate link) but it can stop the irritating and possibly triggering comments that can happen in a room with many people. This is a great solution that I recommend anyone try, to see what a difference it can make without any negative consequences for others.
@windsong4444 While I have not participated in a large number of guided discussions, the ones I have been in have gone quite well with the discussion guide greeting all new arrivals and letting them know it was a discussion, the topic and the curreent question with a reminder to keep the off topic copnversation to a minimum. The few guides I have seen are very receptive, intuitive listeners who do a very excellent job such as (warm fuzzy moment) @MissZ . I suspect some guides are new and are doing the best they are able. At the end of each discussion a link is offered to review the discussion, it would be helpful if you let them know how they did.
There was one discussion where a mod and a dozen friends arrived and seemed to take over the room. Many people left or went into lurking mode. It was startling. I let somebody know and the tactics have changed so as not to be an invasion; for which I am grateful.
By all means, make use of the discussion review link.
@energeticCircle9867 I agree that the mods are very sensitive to keeping a discussion helpful and sensitive to people's needs. I do use the review form and find it helps me process the discussion also. Thanks for sharing this 
@windsong4444 You are very welcome.
For once it's nice to see common sense and working out a solution that benefits everyone in the context of triggers. If only it could all end so well.
Anyway, keep up the good work as you guys always do.