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Pen Pals / by Keineahnung123

8 minutes ago

Waves of pain + numbness

General Support / by starrydaze

9 minutes ago

💛 You Are More Than Your Looks 💛

Women's Issues / by Mya000

11 minutes ago

Women’s Circle Session Announcement 🌼

Women's Issues / by Mya000

12 minutes ago

My parents called a psychiatric ambulance to hospitalize me by force

General Support / by yellowSugar5679

13 minutes ago

...See more I have been struggling with mental health for the past 8 years and my parents were mostly unsupportive during this time. This ranged from taking away my prescription because my mother said that I made everything up and made the doctors believe that I have bipolar disorder to showing absolutely no support after scide attempt and overdose. Last few months I have been dealing with so much pain, trauma and betrayal. I was already way past my breaking point. My father passed on flu or some other virus to me days before my birthday because he didn’t wear a mask despite me asking him to numerous times. I was supposed to go away for my birthday, but faced logistical issues that delayed the trip. My mother completely ignored me for 2 months and then suddenly wanted to give me a present on my birthday without trying to make any amends, not taking any responsibility for her actions and expecting me to just pretend like nothing happened. I snapped. It was the worst birthday ever. Few days later yesterday I was laying on the couch watching tv, completely exhausted from the flu when she was making loud noises in the kitchen that made my headache unbearable. During that day she was ignoring me again (that’s her favorite pastime) not even asking if I need help or anything. I snapped again. I started screaming at her because of the noise she made and how inconsiderate she was to my pain. And she was intentionally making me more and more infuriated. She told me that I should go to my room if I don’t like it, that I should be working and earning money, despite knowing how triggering the money issue is for me and how much I hate being financially dependent on them and the fact that every time I have to ask them for money they make it a humiliating process and always reminding me how much money they spent on me. It’s not my fault that they gave birth to me in a *** country that provides no social support whatsoever and I didn’t ask to be born, neither could I predict that I will be in this situation struggling with finances, mental health and just about everything else in life. She kept coming at me with hurtful words seeing that I’m not taking it well and already mad and infuriated. My father joined my mother so now they were 2 against 1 verbally attacking me. Normally, I would go out for a walk, remove myself from this toxic environment, but I was sick. I think I had a dysphoric mania episode or whatever else. I completely lost myself and started physically attacking them. All the past trauma and hurt and pain from the time they were constantly beating me when I was a child together with new trauma blinded my eyes and I couldn’t store it inside any longer. Unlike me not being able to defend myself when they were hitting me when I was a child, they were quite actively defending themselves. My mother bit my hand with her teeth and then pressed the door on my hand stuck between the door and the door frame. My father and her were hitting me back. She continued to verbally abuse me throughout all of this. She said that nothing in this house belongs to me. I took let vase and slammed it on the floor and some other stuff. I couldn’t control myself. I turned to see my father laughing and filming me on his phone to have evidence against me. They told me that they will put me into a mental institution and started calling an ambulance. An ambulance came. I locked myself in my room and my father told them that he knows how to break the lock. He was basically all in in helping them break into my room and take me by force. I told the doctors that I will call the police if they try to break in. As I mentioned I live in a *** country with horrible medical system. The doctor was a two faced lying piece of garbage when she talked to me she tried to act all compassionate and told me that no one can or will take me to hospital by force. But when I listened to her talking to my parents she basically told them that they don’t need my permission and can hospitalize me by force if they want to. In the end they didn’t do anything because I had fever because of the virus and they said that no hospital will admit me with fever and left. I don’t know what to say. I lived a real life horror story unfolding in front of me. My worst nightmare. I’m not proud of physically attacking them. I’m not that kind of person. I’m not violent. But years of physical and emotional abuse and pain can drive anyone mad. But if I’m crazy they’re just as crazy. If I should go into mental institution, they should also be there in another room. They’re not any better. But the way they tried to paint me as a problem and a crazy one is beyond betraying. You know there are so many stories when parents hide their kids from police when they commit crimes because they love them and want to protect them no matter what. Mine called the ambulance and gave me up like rats. Like I’m not their daughter, but an inconvenience and a burden. I’m screaming in pain inside, but no one can hear me.

MCR Palss

Pen Pals / by thoughtfulGrapes1163

29 minutes ago

self talk & anxiety

Anxiety Support / by Kait

51 minutes ago

just a little support…

Trauma Support / by Kait

54 minutes ago

Vent and feeling negative for a while since my dad's talk around 2 nights ago

Family & Caregivers / by SilencedConstrained

57 minutes ago

...See more Vent: My dad is 65 years old and day by day, his mental process of thinking and comprehending is decreasing, more easily irritated and it would only get worse as he grows older. For example, he sometimes forget that he had already heated up the water for my shower and that I already showered, so he would heat up the water again and tell me to take a bath to which I had to after reminding him because saying no would anger him, plus, the already boiled water would be a waste. One day, my dad was asking me whether if I want <Meal A> or <Meal B> from a fast food restaurant we occasionally order from, so I answered with <Meal A> and said to him that <Meal A> has more meat than <Meal B> (with the purpose to give him an analytical information of which one is better to me). My dad replied "So which one you want!?" to which I answered with "<Meal A>" and then he said "Why did you have to say such nonsense?!" and he was in a bad mood for the whole day and waited for my mom to come back home because he planned to use her as an emotional punching bag (I believe what I said about <Meal A> having more meat is an analytical information and the intent is easily comprehensible, is it not? Am I wrong?). A meal is never delicious when I'm experiencing negative emotions such as anger or sadness, that have been internally experienced many times, but I still have to eat and finish the meal, otherwise, my dad will get more angry. I still remember which areas he smack me at, the most is the back of my neck, I keep feeling the urge to tear off the skin of that place to remove the emotional 'mark'. I don't even trust his praises anymore because one time on a day which I still remember clearly, I helped to give him a drink, the amount is a half cup of water, I wasn't certain if the measure of the half cup of water I gave is correct or not, but he did a hum of approval and said "Good" when he saw the contents of the cup, so I ingrained that moment in my mind in order to remember that same amount to be correct and not be scolded for forgetting. But three days after, when I did the same amount, he scolded, angrily remarking and whining that "It's little" and then I argued back, saying that this is the amount I remembered that he said was good to which he answered "Ah, maybe I said that to save your face!" (to clarify it means that "He maybe did not want me feel shame at that time"), this made me feel resentful and anger due to feeling that my attempt to remember what was 'correct' from his seemingly approval was a lie, but at same time worthless especially when I heard him whispering "stupid" and when he said "I've learned something. I don't need your help anymore. I do it myself because you're stupid." My Dad's Talk: Around 2 nights ago, he was talking about how a <specific nation> is superior, being smarter and hard-working than others which holds truth because that nation have commendable achievements. (For confidential reasons, I won't reveal what is that specific nation, but I'll highlight it as <specific nation>). I am a half-blood of a nation from my mom's blood which what he calls a <stupid, 3rd-level nation> and <specific nation> from my dad's blood. But the traits of the <stupid, 3rd-level nation> is more dominant in my personality. After he finished talking about the <specific nation>, he then talks about the future of the <stupid, 3rd-level nation>, how the people future will become barbarians due to the management and the corruption and that there's no future for it, calling the people to be useless with low IQ which made feel me depressed because I view that since I have the blood and traits, that he constantly points out, of the <stupid, 3rd-level nation>, I'll also be stupid and useless as well, I have no future nor will I achieve improvement especially with my clumsiness and the amount of mistakes I have. I simply sit and quietly listen to him, not doing anything else since to show I'm paying attention and don't want to be rude despite his topic affecting me negatively which is ironic since sometimes when I'M the one who talks about negative topics that I find interesting, he yelled at me to "SHUT UP!" which emotionally hurts me a lot. He gets to show his negative emotions as much as he wants while I'm not allowed to express my emotions at all like when I cry, he tells me "to stop crying, I don't like that." with no comfort such as hugs. My mom is more better in emotional support than him. "Failure is the mother of success" Is what I seen constantly online, what my father said once and it seems to be the truth. But how can I accept my mistakes with ease when my father's attitude towards my mistakes is like he's condemning me, making angry shouts and whines with that negative expression of his and calls me insults, saying swear words in his native language? I have a language exchange partner, and to me, I love how she tries to understand my psychology, my interests, being a listener and lets me talk what I feel like talking about which my dad lacks. The problem is that it's possible she may be a spy or a manipulator. Oh... But I wish I would have a genuine friend like that who isn't a manipulator... I feel scared, maybe anxious whenever my dad is in a very bad mood and if he's constantly irritated, and we stay together everyday 24/7. I feel it's the wrong time to leave him, and I think the best time to leave is after he passed away from old age which is still a long time. My mom goes to work everyday except her day offs, I'm not allowed to go out at all if my dad don't permit it. I always seemed to have something negative to say about my dad every month. I don't have much people to talk to online, most of my language exchange partners seems to like casual things and doesn't have the tolerance to handle my negative moments. Fortunately, I don't get triggered as much as I did compared to the time when my dad started to have physical balance issues, but I would go into an impulsive outburst from time to time, it's rare, but it's still possible.

A little bit of encouragement

LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by Kait

1 hour ago

Share a favourite memory and be grateful :)

Newbie Hub / by carefulWest6083

1 hour ago

“Everything you've ever wanted is sitting on the other side of fear

General Support / by blindHeart12

1 hour ago

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