Personal Account of My Time as a Listener on 7 Cups.

This is written in honour of the Special Events Anniversary!

On this day, I would like to share my experiences and journey on 7 Cups with all of you.

I have decided to share this with the entire community, but it will probably speak more to those of you who are listeners.

Im not a 1-on-1 listener.

I joined as a listener on 7 Cups in July 2014. I did 1-on-1 listening and have had great experiences with members. However, due to personal issues, 1-on-1 listening gradually became more challenging. I tried various ways to keep it up, but it wasnt helping overall. It was very stressful.

At this time on 7 Cups, the member group chat rooms did not exist. We had one listener chat room on the adult side, but I didnt go in it until maybe two months into being a listener (besides a handful of times when I was asking for help). So I mostly just helped out on the public forums (I love forums, Ive been on various website forums during my entire Internet life!). It was great! However, at this time also, there was somewhat of a stigma towards not doing 1-on-1s in the listener community. So I thought about leaving.

But then the group chat rooms came, and I loved it! Finally, I found a way to ‘live listen to members. However, the stigma against non-1-on-1 listeners seemed to grow as a result. I felt very uncomfortable about it. It is possible to feel inadequate in various ways when you become aware of various listener mentalities in listener-only spaces, and that was my insecurity - not being a 1-on-1 listener here.

It was then that I was very close to leaving 7 Cups.

In fact, I was going to leave. I had taken a few week-long breaks beforehand, but this time I was getting ready to leave altogether. I wouldnt say I felt rejected or anything like that, I just felt that I didnt fulfil the role of a listener due to things being said. I also felt as if I were letting members down, and their disappointment was the hardest to take. I mostly wanted to hide away and avoid causing their upset. But I did still help out in the listener chat rooms in order to indirectly support members. I would have also probably switched to doing what I did as a member if I had left!

But then I realised I was happy doing what I do.

I had an idea of what I wished to achieve, plus reassurance and belief in the benefits of what I was doing. I realised I felt comfortable when I did not take into account others negative direct or indirect judgements. There were also some who were encouraging and very kind regarding my involvement here, and many members who were very understanding. In addition, I started to hear about other listeners who were like or felt similarly to myself. So, I decided to continue in my new confidence that there was a place for listeners such as us.

As a side note: There has been some talk among the listener community recently regarding 1-on-1 listeners feeling similarly to how I did as a non-1-on-1 listener. If this is you, I would like to encourage you to have confidence that there is a place for you (a huge place, actually) and to know that you are highly valued. Although you may not get validation from listeners active in other things, I hope that your reviews stating how appreciated and great you are in the eyes of the very people were all ultimately here to help is something at least. You thrive in what you do, and thats enough. I hope you enjoy it as much as possible and know that you dont need to anything else. You can simply own what you do, own your element and bask in its glory. Any way in which you decide to help is honestly amazing and more than enough! You volunteer, so it is a blessing for us that you to take the time to do so.

I then began to take one my passions in general to 7 Cups!

Ive loved observances since I were a child (observances are awareness days, fun days, commemorative days and so forth). I think they are a great way to introduce ones self to things, to raise our awareness, to experience and participate in things and - the beauty of it is that - theres always something new to gain. If you miss one one year, itll also probably come back ‘round again too. I actively began to pursue it as a teenager. I love learning and it was hard to focus my learning yet keep it diverse and plentiful. However, I found that observances were a good way of focusing that for me. Unfortunately, engaging people in them real life has been a challenge to say the least. Regardless, I still like to spread the information around.

Therefore, I decided to post about them on the forums. Short informative posts with a link to learn more. Actually, people such as @wonderfulMagic99 post them regularly, keeping us up-to-date on health-related observances. So please keep an eye out for them! You can find the Health Observances here.

Then came the International Day of Happiness in 2015. March 20th.

I wanted to make a week-long event on 7 Cups leading up to the International Day of Happiness. Due to wishing to turn it into an event rather than an informative post, I cite Happiness Week as the true beginning of special events given its similar nature to how it is now. I hadnt changed much by this point. I became an Appreciation Buddy and supported listeners more, but I was still more active on the member side.

But it was the first time I did anything like that, and it was such a struggle! I was at university (during a very busy period), and I wrote posts everyday for a week between my personal and student responsibilities. I highly suggest... you never do this. Haha! But I was very happy with the end result all the same - I dont regret it.

It also marks the introduction of @Laura (one of our 7 Cups community managers) into the mix. Its impossible to talk about special events without talking about Laura, who has actually had a lot of interaction with it. In fact, the term special events comes from Laura too!

Laura got in contact with me upon hearing about Happiness Week and seriously ran with it!

She helped to make it so much bigger than I had ever expected! It is thanks to her support that things have progressed how they have. She has played a major role in all of this for me. She allowed me capabilities to really apply myself and continues to do so. I didnt have a huge number of chats (50! - for listeners, we often need quite a number of 1-on-1 chats for various teams and things regardless of what it is), I was some random person on the website, yet Laura had both faith and trust and saw potential enough in the activities to help me throughout. I have a lot of gratitude for how hands-on and ongoing her support has been during this time.

Of course, there have been many others too.

Honestly, hundreds of people. Without their support, their input, their help, their ideas, their time, their efforts… couldnt do any of what has been achieved. Its been a real team effort, and I feel like Ive got to know many members of this community from all sides that I would not have necessarily interacted with or learnt so much about had it not been for special events.

A few team members have expressed that the role of special events organisers is highly underappreciated.

It is an underestimated role, in my opinion, as it can contain a lot and require a lot of time and effort (especially depending on your goals and how much you decide to take on). It can also definitely be an underappreciated role - although you can give them a shout out via here. You may not get much participation, interest or engagement let alone thanks, and - of course - we (or I) receive negative feedback too!

The more I am able to do and the more it grows (and perhaps the more that projects pop up in general), the less recognition Id say I generally get. But you know what? I feel the best I have felt right now! I do get appreciation from those I work closely with and from my listener twin [accountability buddy]. I imagine this is like when 1-on-1 listeners get appreciation from their members. Its a select group, but it means the world!

That and seeing people interact in the various activities we organise is my main source of joy here.

My experience has exceeded my expectations in how I could apply myself on 7 Cups.

It allowed me to find a comfortable space on 7 Cups, in spite of 1-on-1 listening not being my forte. I absolutely love what I do on this website. I feel great about it! I feel so satisfied after every event, even if it didnt go too well in some ways (or a lot of ways). If nothing else, it means it gives me something to reflect on and work towards for future efforts.

Do I stress out at times? Yes!

Especially near the beginning, it could be quite challenging. The amount of times I ran around desperately trying to sort things out ‘behind-the-scenes. Phew! I have always been so grateful for the people who step up and help me out at even the last minute, its amazing!

The stress is less now, but still present at times.

Is it worth it? Absolutely.

If something stresses me out too much, I drop it. Simple as that. Often no one can tell as its behind-the-scenes! But a lot of the time, I am able to get a lot of help from others, so I am able to feel a team effort. This is what I love the most about it. I often have people I am working with in some way, even if I am the only organiser. Its very social, so long as you remember to reach out!

At the same time, I do not have too much time to apply to other things as a result, so I am looking into various ways to change this and begin to branch out a bit more… as well as get back to past things that I miss. I am already beginning this process extremely slowly (so slow that its probably not noticeable, yet still exciting to me!).

Progress is something I try to strive towards.

I feel that myself and the rest of the team (past and present) have put so many great things towards what's now commonly referred to as the "Special Events Team" over time. I feel so happy to see everyone working on things, posting about things, and love being a member of this team. Its been quite a journey!

I tend to set various goals for myself and the team. My first goal was: to take it to the member side. Projects and events ‘back in the day were listener-only. Thus so was Happiness Week. But that was not my original intention (I wanted to do it on both sides, but primarily the member side). So I wanted to bring events to members, I did not want to focus on listeners. I would say this has been achieved and, since then, many projects and activities are moving to or being inclusive of the member side too, which is great!

Nowadays, my intention is to cater to both communities as much as possible. Statistically, I'd say we've done well so far on this. For example: 25.9% of discussions = adult listener discussions, 31.8% = adult member discussions, 17.9% = teen listener discussion and 24.4% = teen member discussions.

However, I want to see more specific content for listeners that ultimately serves to help support our members, for example. We are moving towards this with the help of initiatives by volunteer listeners to create listener guides and "how to handle chats on..." discussions. In addition, we are now trying out the involvement of members in the organising of events too.

Recently Laura said to me: [Your role is one] that you carved out for yourself here..

I feel that my experience on 7 Cups is probably quite different compared to most listeners. At first, this made me feel disconnected from the listener community. Everyone was following these set out paths, but they didnt fit me, nor did it relate to what I did or would wish to do (such as becoming a member of peer support or mentor). Many also narrowed down their 7 Cups world to one part of the website too, which wasnt for me either.

I like every part of 7 Cups and have used various spaces for my benefit too! Ive used the chat rooms as a means of reaching out, the forums as a means of sharing things and the feed as a helpful diary, for example. My activities with special events allowed and continue to allow me to explore, highlight and appreciate the variety that 7 Cups has to offer. So it is suited to me in that regard especially!

Although sometimes I still feel disconnected.

I dont feel that I engage on 7 Cups in the way or with the expectations that many seem to (due to the difference in our roles or experiences here), so I feel a little outside of the listener community in that sense. This is really why I wanted to talk about my time here because I do feel excluded in many talks about being a listener. I do feel that I listen to people, but I do it in a different way. My method of support is to create something for people or to support them in creating things for themselves on 7 Cups upon their approaching me.

At the same time, I do view us as a collective. In my opinion, 7 Cups benefits from the variety of people we are fortunate to have here. I benefit from that personally too. I believe it does impact all of our activities and connections to each other on some level, so it is important. That's why I am always trying to figure out ways to take what I do and bring that into something positive for things others do too!

I am definitely feeling more and more as part of the listener community as time progresses through collaborations and other such activities.

Although, no matter how far away I feel I stray from members regarding direct interaction, I still somehow end up feeling closer to the member community. Perhaps it is because members are constantly on my mind! The member community inspires me and encourages me to make the best out of each event. I ultimately do what I do to help support and create good things for the benefit of members.

Nonetheless, I really hope that my experience encourages listeners who hope to find their place on 7 Cups.

A place that maybe doesnt even exist right now. Whatever kind of listener you are; a 1-on-1 megastar, peer support, group chat master, mentor, community manager... . Whatever you are about, whatever you do, please know that there can be a space for you to be satisfied, fulfilled, supported and encouraged! I dont know what that is or how it can be achieved, maybe you dont know either… maybe itll take a while to figure out… but I have confidence that you will be able to figure it out.

If you were to tell me Id go on to form a team, write nearly 100 discussions, organise hundreds of discussions (special events has so far resulted in 500+ discussions on 7 Cups), that thered be a section on the forums for special events, and that any of this was possible… I would have thought you confused me with someone else.

It may not be a main feature of the website, it may not be very well-known, it may not be something everyone appreciates, but it is a space I am a part of and feel at home in.

Im a Special Events Ambassador (as of yesterday) - a new role.

I am a part of the new community mentor track. The 1-on-1 chat requirement is at 150+, which is lower than the usual amount for mentor roles. (I believe I have 170... Coincidence? Haha!). But it is basically a role that I have in order to have the abilities to do my best to help build greater things for the team and special events in general.

Honestly, you do not have to follow any path or have any responsibility/role. You can do what you choose to do, whilst still thriving and making the most of out your time here in a way you decided to. I do sincerely hope it fulfills you and that you are able to gain a lot of positives from being here as I have. That goes to members too, you may find yourself seeking support and taking care of yourself or learning to take care of yourself here. You may also find that you begin to provide and inspire great support, encouragement, strength and passion in your activities here... or maybe not! But whatever you do here, it's truly great to have you here and your presence is appreciated!

I love and feel so passionate about what I do!

My heart warms when I go to other sections of the forums and see people sharing inspired by observances/special events, or to see others posting about their own special events. I feel incredibly appreciative of everyone who helps out in any way at all. I genuinely take a moment of every day when working on special events to really soak in the great feelings that everyone provides me with (intentionally or otherwise).

I dont mean to sound overdramatic, but it means a lot. Hence why I wrote this dissertation of my journey. Haha! & If you read all of it: congratulations on reading literally an essay-sized piece. I appreciate that! Even if you skipped through though, thank you for taking the time to do so. I hope that you were able to identify anything you could either connect with or gain from in some way.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask of course.

Edit:

As an ambassador, I hope to pay forward the support given to me.

As I mentioned, I had a lot of support from Laura as well as from others since the very beginning. So I would like to do the same now that I am in a position where I may be able to do so. I operate within the "project domain" of 7 Cups. Therefore, if you want any help with a project, with brainstorming ideas or pitching an idea for a project and you think I can help, please let me know! I can also help by: editing forum posts, approving events on Tockify (the 7 Cups calendar), reposting directly to the 7 Cups feed, opening and closing rooms and creating alerts. Of course, if you think I could be of help for anything else (related to projects or otherwise), please let me know!

That goes for members and listeners alike! Likewise, please feel free to send a message to request for an event to be done. We do events according to observances (e.g., you can find a list here), so it may not necessarily happen even that same month, but we can prioritise it and do our best to see it through.

I take various kinds of breaks a lot. So sometimes I will not be active in area, but still active in another and so forth. Therefore, please try to say what you are contacting me about in your message, it helps me to respond to your enquiry or redirect you faster.

May you all be heard, feel your worth and (hopefully) be able to enjoy the special events I love so much!